About zombieslayer83 : I'm a 29 year old male. I love most music, but metal is my fav, anime, horror and comedy.I'm some what of a shy person unless you know me. Then I can be a very funny person. I think quickly and obviously love zombies. just here to read and post. Hoping to rely on other peoples misfortunes to help with my own. Any questions just message me. UPDATE, I rarely find any of these FMLS to be of any relation to life. Who cares if your boyfriend smells bad! If an old guy hit on you! Wait until real life hits. I'm not sorry that people are idiots, just disappointed!
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I went skinny-dipping with my best friend. We were on the beach and it was fairly crowded but we got in the water at this really secluded area. While we were swimming I looked up to see a homeless man wearing my clothes, walking away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49766) - you deserved it (22594)
On 03/20/2009 at 7:35pm - misc - by cjj325 (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (307629) - you deserved it (40961)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML
I agree, your life sucks (437162) - you deserved it (61426)
On 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by gentileman (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (526879) - you deserved it (319557)
On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (461740) - you deserved it (573603)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (353501) - you deserved it (66675)
On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (205503) - you deserved it (44846)
On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML
I agree, your life sucks (651454) - you deserved it (12063)
On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (408432) - you deserved it (26487)
On 02/13/2009 at 10:54am - intimacy - by The Sbeak (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML
I agree, your life sucks (484337) - you deserved it (43518)
On 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm - misc - by bittersweet - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (223051) - you deserved it (37844)
On 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by hahahehehohohoo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, whilst chatting with my mum on MSN, she unintentionally sent me an animated emoticon of a penis jerking off repeatedly. I don't even want to know the type of conversation she was having. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28799) - you deserved it (1520)
On 11/23/2008 at 4:24am - intimacy - by Dina - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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