About zombieslayer83 : I'm a 29 year old male. I love most music, but metal is my fav, anime, horror and comedy.I'm some what of a shy person unless you know me. Then I can be a very funny person. I think quickly and obviously love zombies. just here to read and post. Hoping to rely on other peoples misfortunes to help with my own. Any questions just message me. UPDATE, I rarely find any of these FMLS to be of any relation to life. Who cares if your boyfriend smells bad! If an old guy hit on you! Wait until real life hits. I'm not sorry that people are idiots, just disappointed!
zombieslayer83's FML badges
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
zombieslayer83's favorite FMLs
Today, I went skinny-dipping with my best friend. We were on the beach and it was fairly crowded but we got in the water at this really secluded area. While we were swimming I looked up to see a homeless man wearing my clothes, walking away. FML
by cjj325 / 03/20/2009 at 7:35pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML
by gentileman / 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
by KAAALIS / 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by Picaresque / 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by Mick / 02/20/2009 at 3:29am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML
by The Sbeak / 02/13/2009 at 10:54am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy
by bittersweet / 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML
by hahahehehohohoo / 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm / United States (California) / Love
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…