Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

zombieslayer83

Search for a member

zombieslayer83

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1191
  • Number of comments : 282
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About zombieslayer83 : I'm a 29 year old male. I love most music, but metal is my fav, anime, horror and comedy.I'm some what of a shy person unless you know me. Then I can be a very funny person. I think quickly and obviously love zombies. just here to read and post. Hoping to rely on other peoples misfortunes to help with my own. Any questions just message me. UPDATE, I rarely find any of these FMLS to be of any relation to life. Who cares if your boyfriend smells bad! If an old guy hit on you! Wait until real life hits. I'm not sorry that people are idiots, just disappointed!

zombieslayer83's page activity

Visits<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 5:06am<b>dudeman1212</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 5:43pm<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 9:57am<b>VooDooCarrie91</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 10:59pm<b>person_of_music</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 7:47pm<b>Honiebun</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 3:48pm<b>lokland</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 6:03pm<b>GDragonsSwag</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 8:20am<b>mongorian_beef</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 8:04pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 7:51pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 9:04am<b>kpetrovski</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 4:27pm<b>euphoriagorillaz</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 3:23am<b>auzieforever705</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 12:56pm<b>AquanTheDragon</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 6:39pm<b>recklessryan</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 12:36pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 9:12pm<b>CheersForRevenge</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 11:07pm

zombieslayer83's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of zombieslayer83's badges

zombieslayer83's favorite FMLs

Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML

#20433657
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29992) - you deserved it (5070)

On 12/31/2012 at 6:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had an amazing orgasm. So great that the shortness of breath triggered an extreme asthma attack. FML

#20432803
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39531) - you deserved it (4952)

On 12/30/2012 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML

#20431454
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20045) - you deserved it (40120)

On 12/30/2012 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML

#20430634
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26292) - you deserved it (2989)

On 12/29/2012 at 8:01pm - work - by nose hurts (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a proper look at myself in the mirror. I have recently lost 5 lbs. Turns out that it mainly shows on my boob. Not boobs. Boob. Right one only. FML

Today, I set up a spy cam in my room to find out which one of my pervy brothers has been using my computer to watch porn. Turns out it was actually my father. I now have a video of him sitting in my chair masturbating, and I can't get it out of my head. FML

#20427916
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43490) - you deserved it (10707)

On 12/28/2012 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend using my hand to wank. FML

#20427495
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45667) - you deserved it (9521)

On 12/28/2012 at 6:40am - intimacy - by kmtranter - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today, I was racing my friends to the car for shotgun in the parking lot at night. I opened the passenger door of the car to find an old lady staring at me. It was the wrong car. FML

#20427324
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12932) - you deserved it (31353)

On 12/28/2012 at 3:14am - misc - by Anon - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I noticed she had an eyelash on her breast. After tugging it a few times I realised it was actually a single black nipple hair. She was so embarrassed, she kicked me out and now won't return my calls. FML

#20426821
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32473) - you deserved it (25169)

On 12/27/2012 at 10:06pm - intimacy - by ohman (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, while sharing a few beers on the couch with my boyfriend, he drunkenly uttered the fateful words, "Babe, if I could suck my own dick, you'd be single as HELL." FML

#20426492
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51272) - you deserved it (7008)

On 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by well, i am now (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML

#20423881
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40487) - you deserved it (4805)

On 12/26/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by geewhy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

#20423697
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50386) - you deserved it (3530)

On 12/26/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by gaggin - United States (California)

Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML

#20423470
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39824) - you deserved it (4019)

On 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML

#20422616
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33051) - you deserved it (3251)

On 12/25/2012 at 11:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: