zombieslayer83

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zombieslayer83

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 2063
  • Number of comments : 282
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About zombieslayer83 : I'm a 29 year old male. I love most music, but metal is my fav, anime, horror and comedy.I'm some what of a shy person unless you know me. Then I can be a very funny person. I think quickly and obviously love zombies. just here to read and post. Hoping to rely on other peoples misfortunes to help with my own. Any questions just message me. UPDATE, I rarely find any of these FMLS to be of any relation to life. Who cares if your boyfriend smells bad! If an old guy hit on you! Wait until real life hits. I'm not sorry that people are idiots, just disappointed!

zombieslayer83's page activity

Visits<b>ADOG2645</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 4:13pm<b>rhiley</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 6:35am<b>coocooa11</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 7:27am<b>danie978</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 6:01pm<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 9:04am<b>nightwalker52</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 12:08am<b>HyungPls</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 2:06pm<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 1:58pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 3:47pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 5:48pm<b>kyle8211</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 9:34pm<b>mt631</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 2:29pm<b>MeltedBrain</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 9:16am<b>sofuckinglonely</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 6:42am<b>HarrisonX</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 6:32am<b>Plastinate</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 9:37pm<b>Jessica00</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 3:03pm<b>jonathan7777</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 11:29am

Fucked!<b>rhiley</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 11:35am

zombieslayer83's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of zombieslayer83's badges

zombieslayer83's favorite FMLs

Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2012 at 6:16am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I had an amazing orgasm. So great that the shortness of breath triggered an extreme asthma attack. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 9:45pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 3:29am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML

by nose hurts / 12/29/2012 at 8:01pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I had a proper look at myself in the mirror. I have recently lost 5 lbs. Turns out that it mainly shows on my boob. Not boobs. Boob. Right one only. FML

by Amathiel / 12/29/2012 at 10:23am / Norway (Sogn og Fjordane) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I set up a spy cam in my room to find out which one of my pervy brothers has been using my computer to watch porn. Turns out it was actually my father. I now have a video of him sitting in my chair masturbating, and I can't get it out of my head. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2012 at 2:05pm / Malaysia (Selangor) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend using my hand to wank. FML

by kmtranter / 12/28/2012 at 6:40am / United Kingdom (Brent) / Intimacy

Today, I was racing my friends to the car for shotgun in the parking lot at night. I opened the passenger door of the car to find an old lady staring at me. It was the wrong car. FML

by Anon / 12/28/2012 at 3:14am / United States (Connecticut) / Transportation

Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I noticed she had an eyelash on her breast. After tugging it a few times I realised it was actually a single black nipple hair. She was so embarrassed, she kicked me out and now won't return my calls. FML

by ohman / 12/27/2012 at 10:06pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy

Today, while sharing a few beers on the couch with my boyfriend, he drunkenly uttered the fateful words, "Babe, if I could suck my own dick, you'd be single as HELL." FML

by well, i am now / 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML

by Bouh / 12/26/2012 at 11:04pm / Love

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML

by geewhy / 12/26/2012 at 4:20pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

by gaggin / 12/26/2012 at 2:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2012 at 11:56pm / United States (Ohio) / Love