zoeyblack7789770

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zoeyblack7789770

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 7 February 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 534
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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zoeyblack7789770's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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zoeyblack7789770's favorite FMLs

Today, after 5 years of no intimate, sexual contact with a woman, I finally got my chance. Unfortunately, I also discovered that I have full-on erectile dysfunction. I'm 23 years old. FML

by brokedick / 12/12/2011 at 1:23am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, it's my sister's birthday. My parents got her a cat. I have serious allergies when it comes to cats. When I brought this issue up with my parents, they replied, "This day is not about you, it's about your sister." I can feel my throat tightening already. FML

by Cats...FML / 10/17/2011 at 7:46am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I was at work as a cashier. An old lady unbagged everything I had, and angrily "taught" me how to bag. She put potatoes on her eggs and broke them. She then screamed that I was useless and retarded in front of all my other customers and manager. FML

by bdjsbskl / 10/07/2011 at 1:55am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, my nephew spent a long while enthusiastically telling me how amazing his new 3D TV system is. I felt his pain as his face turned white when he remembered that I'm blind in one eye since birth. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2011 at 12:15am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend, the girl I completely love, is now dating my father. She tried giving me the "I know I'm not your mother..." speech. FML

by Anonymous / 09/24/2011 at 7:01pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I had to explain to a woman I didn't know that my husband was killed overseas. She replied, "I know exactly how you feel, my dog died last month." FML

by socks / 09/21/2011 at 3:01am / United States / Animals

 Today, my mom is marrying my ex boyfriend's dad. The same ex boyfriend who I caught cheating on me with my sister. Family gatherings are going to be such a joy! FML

by AL / 09/21/2011 at 1:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a restaurant with my fiancée for dinner. I commented that she had some food around her mouth. She responded with a lecture, then by throwing her hot bowl of noodles at me, before stomping out the restaurant. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2011 at 6:14am / China (Shanghai) / Miscellaneous

Today, my family dragged me to an Alien-themed museum. They're convinced they were once abducted and felt up by creatures from outer space. They talk, and spend all their money, on nothing else. I'm hungry. FML

by Help / 08/13/2011 at 7:21pm / United States / Geek

Today, while in line at a gas station, I felt something on my shoulder. I turned around only to see a woman behind me pulling the sunburnt skin off my shoulder. When I told her to stop, she yelled, hit me with her purse and ran off crying. FML

by therundown / 07/20/2011 at 9:38am / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, I overheard my girlfriend telling her friend "Actually, its a good thing she died, she was quite a bitch." She was talking about my mother. FML

by Bechara / 06/13/2011 at 5:11am / Pakistan (Punjab) / Miscellaneous

Today, I bought my fiancée a dress for her birthday. She accused me of saying she was fat, because I bought it in medium rather than small. After trying on the dress, she's now not only mad at me for buying it, but also because the dress fits perfectly. FML

by drebel / 03/09/2011 at 5:27pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I logged onto a website that offered free tutoring. After chatting with the online tutor, he started flirting with me. I was just looking for some help with my homework, not a creeper. FML

by Chasity / 02/07/2011 at 12:26am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving my family home, when my 7 year old son had to pee. Having long since passed any rest stops, I made him use a bottle. Once he was done, he grenaded the bottle out the window, hitting someone's windshield dead on. FML

by wtfson / 12/13/2010 at 2:35am / Kids

Today, at my wedding reception, I jokingly asked my aunt, who has always been convinced that I am gay despite my protests, if she believed me now. She took this the wrong way and drunkenly went around telling my guests that my wedding was a sham to convince her I was straight. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2010 at 4:40am / United Kingdom (London) / Love