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zoeyblack7789770's FML badges
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zoeyblack7789770's favorite FMLs
by brokedick / 12/12/2011 at 1:23am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, it's my sister's birthday. My parents got her a cat. I have serious allergies when it comes to cats. When I brought this issue up with my parents, they replied, "This day is not about you, it's about your sister." I can feel my throat tightening already. FML
by Cats...FML / 10/17/2011 at 7:46am / Australia (Queensland) / Health
Today, I was at work as a cashier. An old lady unbagged everything I had, and angrily "taught" me how to bag. She put potatoes on her eggs and broke them. She then screamed that I was useless and retarded in front of all my other customers and manager. FML
by bdjsbskl / 10/07/2011 at 1:55am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
Today, my nephew spent a long while enthusiastically telling me how amazing his new 3D TV system is. I felt his pain as his face turned white when he remembered that I'm blind in one eye since birth. FML
by Anonymous / 09/27/2011 at 12:15am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/24/2011 at 7:01pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love
by socks / 09/21/2011 at 3:01am / United States / Animals
by AL / 09/21/2011 at 1:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in a restaurant with my fiancée for dinner. I commented that she had some food around her mouth. She responded with a lecture, then by throwing her hot bowl of noodles at me, before stomping out the restaurant. FML
by Anonymous / 09/01/2011 at 6:14am / China (Shanghai) / Miscellaneous
Today, my family dragged me to an Alien-themed museum. They're convinced they were once abducted and felt up by creatures from outer space. They talk, and spend all their money, on nothing else. I'm hungry. FML
by Help / 08/13/2011 at 7:21pm / United States / Geek
Today, while in line at a gas station, I felt something on my shoulder. I turned around only to see a woman behind me pulling the sunburnt skin off my shoulder. When I told her to stop, she yelled, hit me with her purse and ran off crying. FML
by therundown / 07/20/2011 at 9:38am / United States (Ohio) / Health
by Bechara / 06/13/2011 at 5:11am / Pakistan (Punjab) / Miscellaneous
Today, I bought my fiancée a dress for her birthday. She accused me of saying she was fat, because I bought it in medium rather than small. After trying on the dress, she's now not only mad at me for buying it, but also because the dress fits perfectly. FML
by drebel / 03/09/2011 at 5:27pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by Chasity / 02/07/2011 at 12:26am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was driving my family home, when my 7 year old son had to pee. Having long since passed any rest stops, I made him use a bottle. Once he was done, he grenaded the bottle out the window, hitting someone's windshield dead on. FML
Today, at my wedding reception, I jokingly asked my aunt, who has always been convinced that I am gay despite my protests, if she believed me now. She took this the wrong way and drunkenly went around telling my guests that my wedding was a sham to convince her I was straight. FML
by Anonymous / 12/08/2010 at 4:40am / United Kingdom (London) / Love
- 1Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…