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zoegirl_455

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zoegirl_455

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2036
  • Number of comments : 105
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 25 posted

About zoegirl_455 : Runner and reader

Apparently my life isn't f'ed enough for FML.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Message me!

zoegirl_455's page activity

Visits<b>24jfred</b> - 6 hours ago<b>Wolfparable</b> - 8 hours ago<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - yesterday at 2:00pm<b>Robby4800</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 9:37pm<b>devildog562</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 9:17pm<b>buddysboy9</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 2:33pm<b>PleasantDino</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 12:04am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 11:20pm<b>labracabrador</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 3:11am<b>hater4lizife</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 10:22pm<b>muzak23</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 3:43pm<b>horizontalline</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 6:32pm<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 8:31am<b>xxthechosenguyxx</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 4:44pm<b>NopeTrain</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 12:03am<b>johobus28</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 7:14pm<b>SingingWolf</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 10:40am<b>icyconix</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 9:11am

Liked!<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 12:43am

zoegirl_455's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

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zoegirl_455's favorite FMLs

Today, a student's mother sent me an e-mail complaining that I was requiring her child to read a book containing mild profanity. She then demanded me to let him read an easier book. This would've been somewhat acceptable if the student wasn't in the 12th grade. FML

#21318762
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29432) - you deserved it (2240)

On 12/16/2014 at 9:11pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I bought my cat a fun toy at the one of a kind craft show. It has catnip in it, which he loves. He flipped out, so I took it away. He won't stop trying to break into the cupboard I put it in. My cat has a drug problem. FML

#21310320
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27306) - you deserved it (4680)

On 12/02/2014 at 7:56pm - animals - by allykat - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while walking home with my mom, some unoriginal cockshart in a passing car yelled at me: "Fuck her in the pussy!" It was a long, awkward walk home after that. FML

#21308349
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28776) - you deserved it (2483)

On 11/29/2014 at 8:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after Thanksgiving dinner, we all played Cards Against Humanity. On one round, I was the dealer, and I received "foreskin" as a card. When I said this, my grandmother told me that apparently, after my ritual circumcision, my grandfather buried my foreskin under our rosebushes. FML

#21307273
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28226) - you deserved it (2767)

On 11/28/2014 at 12:25am - misc - by mainlineloser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML

#21302695
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29188) - you deserved it (2264)

On 11/20/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend said "You're a real work of art. You know, the abstract kind that no one likes. Anyway, we need to break up." FML

#21302073
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36269) - you deserved it (3090)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 12-year-old daughter informed me that she is eager to lose her virginity, "Because I don't want to be thrown into a volcano!" FML

#21300667
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32024) - you deserved it (3538)

On 11/17/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was speeding home, bursting to take a crap. I pulled into my driveway and made it inside, before my wife told me the plumber was still working on our pipes. I ended up having to take a crap in my own backyard, behind a tree. FML

#21298320
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31572) - you deserved it (2842)

On 11/13/2014 at 1:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman, like they're the funniest people on the planet. My name is Elsa. FML

#21297408
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44020) - you deserved it (3846)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm - work - by elsatheannoyed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML

#21293465
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33353) - you deserved it (6448)

On 11/06/2014 at 3:15pm - love - by notsofriendly (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML

#21292742
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35400) - you deserved it (8571)

On 11/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I decided to give my boyfriend a surprise striptease. After I turned around, I heard him murmur "Oh, wow." I turned back around, only to find him watching a gif of a cat falling into snow in slow motion. FML

#21291260
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35012) - you deserved it (4104)

On 11/03/2014 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Dezzy - United States (Missouri)

Today, my daughter admitted to me that the only reason she's nice to me is because I give her money. She's six. FML

#21290277
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30426) - you deserved it (4407)

On 11/02/2014 at 4:09am - kids - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I watched as the teenage neighbor girl tried to parallel-park between me and my wife's cars. She was doing pretty well until she backed into mine, got scared, hit the accelerator and ran into my wife's. FML

#21287621
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39644) - you deserved it (3015)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:24am - misc - by carless - United States

Today, I was being interviewed for a grant over the phone. When asked why I wanted to go to school to be an OB nursing assistant, I panicked and yelled, "BECAUSE VAGINAS ARE FASCINATING!" into the receiver. FML

#21286497
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27681) - you deserved it (11582)

On 10/27/2014 at 7:05pm - health - by lady parts - United States (Illinois)



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