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zoegirl_455

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zoegirl_455

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1790
  • Number of comments : 105
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 25 posted

About zoegirl_455 : Runner and reader

Apparently my life isn't f'ed enough for FML.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Message me!

zoegirl_455's page activity

Visits<b>horizontalline</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 6:32pm<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 8:31am<b>xxthechosenguyxx</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 4:44pm<b>NopeTrain</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 12:03am<b>johobus28</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 7:14pm<b>SingingWolf</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 10:40am<b>icyconix</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 9:11am<b>llalala</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 1:48am<b>browneyed019</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 10:58pm<b>Lalala579121</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 6:14pm<b>mt631</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 4:19pm<b>Doutze</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 3:32pm<b>okibi1</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 9:39am<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 7:49am<b>NodakN8V</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 7:22am<b>TresAmusant</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 5:57am<b>that1guyyy</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 4:46am<b>munuxi</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 3:13am

Liked!<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 12:43am

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100 kick ass comments

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zoegirl_455's favorite FMLs

Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML

#21302695
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27454) - you deserved it (2209)

On 11/20/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend said "You're a real work of art. You know, the abstract kind that no one likes. Anyway, we need to break up." FML

#21302073
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34390) - you deserved it (3004)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 12-year-old daughter informed me that she is eager to lose her virginity, "Because I don't want to be thrown into a volcano!" FML

#21300667
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30946) - you deserved it (3259)

On 11/17/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was speeding home, bursting to take a crap. I pulled into my driveway and made it inside, before my wife told me the plumber was still working on our pipes. I ended up having to take a crap in my own backyard, behind a tree. FML

#21298320
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31244) - you deserved it (2826)

On 11/13/2014 at 1:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman, like they're the funniest people on the planet. My name is Elsa. FML

#21297408
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43137) - you deserved it (3812)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm - work - by elsatheannoyed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML

#21293465
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32971) - you deserved it (6410)

On 11/06/2014 at 3:15pm - love - by notsofriendly (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML

#21292742
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35088) - you deserved it (8536)

On 11/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I decided to give my boyfriend a surprise striptease. After I turned around, I heard him murmur "Oh, wow." I turned back around, only to find him watching a gif of a cat falling into snow in slow motion. FML

#21291260
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33719) - you deserved it (3661)

On 11/03/2014 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Dezzy - United States (Missouri)

Today, my daughter admitted to me that the only reason she's nice to me is because I give her money. She's six. FML

#21290277
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30332) - you deserved it (4399)

On 11/02/2014 at 4:09am - kids - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I watched as the teenage neighbor girl tried to parallel-park between me and my wife's cars. She was doing pretty well until she backed into mine, got scared, hit the accelerator and ran into my wife's. FML

#21287621
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39193) - you deserved it (2857)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:24am - misc - by carless - United States

Today, I was being interviewed for a grant over the phone. When asked why I wanted to go to school to be an OB nursing assistant, I panicked and yelled, "BECAUSE VAGINAS ARE FASCINATING!" into the receiver. FML

#21286497
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27621) - you deserved it (11562)

On 10/27/2014 at 7:05pm - health - by lady parts - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML

#21286332
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48794) - you deserved it (3462)

On 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by subduedbeast - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36293) - you deserved it (10574)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

#21283795
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34945) - you deserved it (4116)

On 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML

#21283288
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41123) - you deserved it (3099)

On 10/22/2014 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by BadLuckLad (man) - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)



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