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zoegirl_455

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zoegirl_455

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1611
  • Number of comments : 103
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 24 posted

About zoegirl_455 : Runner and reader

Apparently my life isn't f'ed enough for FML.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Message me!

zoegirl_455's page activity

Visits<b>katejanek</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 6:39pm<b>CloudBustah</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 11:50pm<b>buddysboy9</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 6:42pm<b>Kyle1dc</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 10:28am<b>ThatKidFromLA</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 1:50am<b>coyotefox</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 2:45am<b>sbeth2002</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 10:43pm<b>GentlemanBastard</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 10:35pm<b>penashmul</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 7:13pm<b>feeltheluck</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 3:49pm<b>josiemijn</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 3:46pm<b>jrod9327</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 3:26pm<b>wolfgold2</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 7:09pm<b>boobear19883</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 5:01am<b>wilburhp</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 3:41pm<b>revelation11B</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 12:37pm<b>koolgirl767</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 3:33pm<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 6:11pm

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100 kick ass comments

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Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

See all of zoegirl_455's badges

zoegirl_455's favorite FMLs

Today, I watched as the teenage neighbor girl tried to parallel-park between me and my wife's cars. She was doing pretty well until she backed into mine, got scared, hit the accelerator and ran into my wife's. FML

#21287621
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31757) - you deserved it (2312)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:24am - misc - by carless - United States

Today, I was being interviewed for a grant over the phone. When asked why I wanted to go to school to be an OB nursing assistant, I panicked and yelled, "BECAUSE VAGINAS ARE FASCINATING!" into the receiver. FML

#21286497
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24702) - you deserved it (10220)

On 10/27/2014 at 7:05pm - health - by lady parts - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML

#21286332
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42849) - you deserved it (3225)

On 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by subduedbeast - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33664) - you deserved it (9730)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

#21283795
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33695) - you deserved it (4083)

On 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML

#21283288
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37806) - you deserved it (2727)

On 10/22/2014 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by BadLuckLad (man) - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)

Today, I caught my 15-year-old son trying to roll catnip into a joint and smoke it. FML

#21281464
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30724) - you deserved it (4014)

On 10/19/2014 at 11:48pm - kids - by Bad Dad - United States (Colorado)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35320) - you deserved it (3722)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I watched from my office window as a couple maneuvered their car to squash a dead pigeon flat on the road. I then watched as they got out of the car, set up tripods and started taking photos of it. FML

Today, was the day I would turn my life around and start losing weight. I went outside for my first run and said, "I got this!" I confidently stepped forward, the first symbolic steps to my new life. In the anticipation, I forgot my porch had steps. I face-planted on my driveway. FML

#21271662
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36348) - you deserved it (7248)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:17pm - health - by PickYourselfUp (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42256) - you deserved it (5123)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my teenage daughter asked me to buy her the morning after pill, saying "It's for my acne." FML

#21270394
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35727) - you deserved it (4214)

On 10/03/2014 at 11:08pm - health - by Disappointed -

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to bend my iPhone 6 like there's no tomorrow. FML

#21268378
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38660) - you deserved it (12708)

On 09/30/2014 at 2:48pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML

#21267077
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32099) - you deserved it (3546)

On 09/28/2014 at 3:26pm - health - by jazzie7719 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while running an event, my belt loop got caught in those metal whorls that outdoor chairs have. I couldn't get it undone and had to greet guests by standing up and bringing the chair with me, hanging from my ass. My coworker finally had to cut the belt loop to set me free. FML

#21266851
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28548) - you deserved it (3485)

On 09/28/2014 at 7:40am - work - by Abbynyc - United States (New York)



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