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zoegirl_455

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zoegirl_455

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1554
  • Number of comments : 103
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 23 posted

About zoegirl_455 : Runner and reader

Apparently my life isn't f'ed enough for FML.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Message me!

zoegirl_455's page activity

Visits<b>katejanek</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 6:39pm<b>CloudBustah</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 11:50pm<b>buddysboy9</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 6:42pm<b>Kyle1dc</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 10:28am<b>ThatKidFromLA</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 1:50am<b>coyotefox</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 2:45am<b>sbeth2002</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 10:43pm<b>GentlemanBastard</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 10:35pm<b>penashmul</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 7:13pm<b>feeltheluck</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 3:49pm<b>josiemijn</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 3:46pm<b>jrod9327</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 3:26pm<b>wolfgold2</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 7:09pm<b>boobear19883</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 5:01am<b>wilburhp</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 3:41pm<b>revelation11B</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 12:37pm<b>koolgirl767</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 3:33pm<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 6:11pm

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100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

See all of zoegirl_455's badges

zoegirl_455's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my 15-year-old son trying to roll catnip into a joint and smoke it. FML

#21281464
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23878) - you deserved it (3031)

On 10/19/2014 at 11:48pm - kids - by Bad Dad - United States (Colorado)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33338) - you deserved it (3625)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I watched from my office window as a couple maneuvered their car to squash a dead pigeon flat on the road. I then watched as they got out of the car, set up tripods and started taking photos of it. FML

Today, was the day I would turn my life around and start losing weight. I went outside for my first run and said, "I got this!" I confidently stepped forward, the first symbolic steps to my new life. In the anticipation, I forgot my porch had steps. I face-planted on my driveway. FML

#21271662
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35837) - you deserved it (7228)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:17pm - health - by PickYourselfUp (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40872) - you deserved it (5065)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my teenage daughter asked me to buy her the morning after pill, saying "It's for my acne." FML

#21270394
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35330) - you deserved it (4190)

On 10/03/2014 at 11:08pm - health - by Disappointed -

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to bend my iPhone 6 like there's no tomorrow. FML

#21268378
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38530) - you deserved it (12673)

On 09/30/2014 at 2:48pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML

#21267077
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32001) - you deserved it (3544)

On 09/28/2014 at 3:26pm - health - by jazzie7719 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while running an event, my belt loop got caught in those metal whorls that outdoor chairs have. I couldn't get it undone and had to greet guests by standing up and bringing the chair with me, hanging from my ass. My coworker finally had to cut the belt loop to set me free. FML

#21266851
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28513) - you deserved it (3482)

On 09/28/2014 at 7:40am - work - by Abbynyc - United States (New York)

Today, my psychotic, very jealous ex-boyfriend appeared out of nowhere and punched a male store clerk who was helping me look for azaleas in a garden center. FML

#21264094
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33675) - you deserved it (2564)

On 09/23/2014 at 9:19pm - love - by Tag (woman) - Australia

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38806) - you deserved it (5549)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML

#21261017
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40228) - you deserved it (3509)

On 09/18/2014 at 11:15pm - love - by clairebear104 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

#21260355
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41012) - you deserved it (4328)

On 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by HappilyNeverAfter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was going for my morning walk, when a guy in a massive truck drove up beside me, with a kid no more than 4 riding shotgun. I lost my faith in humanity when his tiny voice yelled through the window, "Nice ass!" FML

#21257417
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40294) - you deserved it (4412)

On 09/13/2014 at 10:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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