About zoe_rhiannon : To fab to function.
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zoe_rhiannon's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to my parents' house. I recently lost about 30 lbs. My mom hugged me and said, "Aww, you're not my chubby baby girl anymore." She then said she wished I were still fat because she missed it. She's the reason I lost the weight; she used to tease and taunt me. Thanks Mom. FML
by me / 06/28/2013 at 11:51am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML
by soontobedivorced / 04/19/2009 at 12:05am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I saw a lesbian couple walking through the mall. One of the ladies walked up to me in the middle of the busy mall and started screaming at me about how rude it is to stare, and how we are all equal- straight or not. I was only staring because I'm a lesbian too, and they were hot. FML
by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 10:33pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML
by Girl123999 / 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
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- Today, I went on a road trip with my boyfriend and his best friend. What I thought was going to be… Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which… Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to…
- Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, I’m on vacation in Japan. Hungry, I went to a restaurant. Looking at photos of the food, I…