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50 favourites
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Mobility
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Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17325) - you deserved it (2262)
On 03/03/2010 at 7:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my throat is really swollen so I can only drink liquid. I noticed home-made ice-lollies in the freezer and had one. It tasted funny. Turns out my little brother had peed in one of those ice-lolly box and put it in the freezer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24458) - you deserved it (2390)
On 03/03/2010 at 10:09am - health - by icegirl (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)
Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36379) - you deserved it (7456)
On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I found a $100 bill on the ground and was thinking, "I'm so lucky!!" I opened my wallet to find that $300 was missing. I looked back and saw some guy picking up $300. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18033) - you deserved it (4697)
On 03/01/2010 at 4:55pm - money - by sdauner - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I had pancakes for breakfast, and without realizing it, I got syrup in my hair. After breakfast, I went to straighten my hair, only to burn the syrup and have it get stuck in my hair. There was no time to shower and it smelled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7855) - you deserved it (13601)
On 02/28/2010 at 12:10pm - misc - by maddy - United States (Washington)
Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19313) - you deserved it (6857)
On 02/26/2010 at 6:13am - animals - by aaalias34 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to throw out the garbage outside. I noticed at the bottom of my can was a lot of rice. I was angry at my brother for making a mess. As I went to clean it up, the rice moved. It wasn't rice, it was maggots. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18051) - you deserved it (3016)
On 02/25/2010 at 6:46am - misc - by SayWhat (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8326) - you deserved it (27154)
On 02/25/2010 at 4:42am - love - by OmniVore (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, before my date came to pick me up, I put tissues under my arms so I wouldn't leave wet marks. I forgot to remove them, and when we got physical, they fell out, looking like I'd stuffed my bra. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8232) - you deserved it (20876)
On 02/24/2010 at 12:54am - intimacy - by kiki (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I found out that my girlfriend started a fake argument and pretended to be mad at me for four days, which was almost enough time for the gigantic hickey that my best friend gave her on her neck to heal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29830) - you deserved it (1400)
On 02/23/2010 at 1:57pm - love - by mrniceguy - United States
Today, I learned the hard way that my foundation shows up under a black light. At a black light party. No one told me until afterwards. Everyone took pictures. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15578) - you deserved it (3082)
On 02/20/2010 at 8:52pm - misc - by makeuuuuup (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my friends told me, "Don't worry about your bad acne. It kind of looks like the pattern the avatars have on their heads." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18958) - you deserved it (1677)
On 02/19/2010 at 3:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, after recently having had surgery, I Iearnt that some extra tissue was needed to cover up the hole in the roof of my mouth. Where did they get this tissue? From a dead person. I now have the flesh of a dead person in my mouth, which by the way is now infected. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31587) - you deserved it (2776)
On 02/17/2010 at 12:07am - health - by Sophie - United States (Texas)
Today, my pet rat had babies. We've only ever owned one rat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20441) - you deserved it (4206)
On 02/16/2010 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, my boyfriend told me he was showing off pictures of me to co-workers. It wasn't until later that he said, "Don't worry, they were old pictures, from when you were hot." They were from four years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17653) - you deserved it (2708)
On 02/14/2010 at 10:09pm - love - by Vgameboi (man) - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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