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zobo1014

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zobo1014

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  • Number of visits : 3670
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zobo1014's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a dentist appointment after class so I threw my electric toothbrush in my backpack so I could brush my teeth before. In the middle of class the toothbrush turns on and the vibrations could be heard throughout the classroom. They yelled at me "Jess has a vibrator!" FML

#1479634
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46938) - you deserved it (9502)

On 04/30/2009 at 12:51am - misc - by jess (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I called my mom into my room to ask her to bring me something. She reffered to me as a "lazy fat slug." I'm 38 weeks pregnant and was put on emergancy bedrest by my doctor. FML

#1475224
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65109) - you deserved it (4481)

On 04/29/2009 at 10:03pm - misc - by prego (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was babysitting a four year old. He was mad and began hitting me. I told him to use his words not his fists when he's mad. He then began telling me how much he hated me and that I should go die and never come back. FML

#1474084
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45305) - you deserved it (17451)

On 04/29/2009 at 9:34pm - kids - by GirlinGreen - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend was complaining that we don't have "a song". Irritated, I told her that I'd put on the radio, and whatever song was playing was our song from now on. I switched on the radio, and "It's Not Fair" by Lily Allen was playing. Our song is about premature ejaculation. FML

#1427967
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16673) - you deserved it (58396)

On 04/28/2009 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, I turned 18. My parents gave me a card that read "now that you're 18, it's time for some boozy fun... you can do all the things you did before but legally!" Taped to the inside was my fake id that I "lost" three months ago. FML

#1418497
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14508) - you deserved it (62842)

On 04/28/2009 at 10:12am - misc - by owned (woman) - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend of two years, who is a fabulous guitarist and singer, told me he wrote me a song. I was so excited. Turns out it was a break up song. FML

#1399527
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59112) - you deserved it (3726)

On 04/27/2009 at 5:47pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML

#1382761
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (93320) - you deserved it (22431)

On 04/27/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by hjgjh - United States (California)

Today, I was hanging out at my school with some friends when my mom came to pick me up. A girl I knew wanted a hug before I left. I turned around to hug her and a clip on my backpack got stuck on her tank top. I tuned away the clip pulled the shirt ripping it and exposing her naked chest. FML

#1342086
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65409) - you deserved it (8155)

On 04/26/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by Mikey (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was fired from my job of 5 years. I was let go because I couldn't take the company to 'the next level'. My now ex-boss asked me if I could process my severance check because he didn't know how. I had to write myself my last paycheck. FML

#1315849
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54855) - you deserved it (2552)

On 04/25/2009 at 9:31am - work - by feistychick (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I had to go visit my grandma. While in her bathroom, the floss I was using cut my gum, I then proceded to make sounds of slight pain. My grandma was, at the same moment, walking by and said "Don't masturbate in side of my bathroom you sick teen!" Now my grandma thinks I am a pervert. FML

#1313726
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50666) - you deserved it (5560)

On 04/25/2009 at 3:51am - intimacy - by bongoboy - United States (California)

Today, I got approached by a hot young lady in a bar. After joking around for a few minutes she said "hey I love your jacket, where'd you get that?". I then told her that it's actually a replica of the Indiana Jones jacket. This is when she remembered that she "had to go somewhere". FML

#1288123
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18124) - you deserved it (57626)

On 04/24/2009 at 12:40pm - love - by cole (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was crocheting while watching television, and thinking to myself how proud I was that I taught myself to crochet. Then, an episode of Golden Girls came on, and I watched that while I crocheted. I'm 24. FML

#1221621
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26093) - you deserved it (37676)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was running the 100m sprint in a track meet. Me and another girl were tied for dead last. When we finished, she complained, "It's so embarrassing how slow I am today. I have shin splints. What happened to you?" I was actually running my hardest. FML

#1217695
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51982) - you deserved it (7215)

On 04/22/2009 at 9:20am - misc - by slowrunner (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to a cosmetic dentist and got a chip in my tooth filled in that I’d had since I was 7. I went out later and my friend jokingly hit my head against the table a few times to make fun of me showing off my teeth. He slipped. I fell. I now have 2 chipped teeth and a broken nose. FML

#1186879
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55927) - you deserved it (9762)

On 04/21/2009 at 6:51am - health - by Chip (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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