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Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (60210) - you deserved it (6124)
On 05/18/2009 at 8:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, I decided to try the new agent cool blue mouthwash that turns plaque blue so you know where to brush to look nice for my date. I couldn't get all the blue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14527) - you deserved it (39056)
On 05/16/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by Ricky (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickleing my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45419) - you deserved it (5296)
On 05/16/2009 at 7:26am - kids - by badmom101 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out the tattoo signifying my marriage turned out to be more permanent than the marriage itself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18061) - you deserved it (41748)
On 05/14/2009 at 3:57pm - love - by branded (woman) - United States (California)
Today, a parent came into my class and told one of my 6 year old students that their grandma died. Then the parent left. The kid started crying from the news, which then got all the other students crying. I spent the rest of the day comforting a class of kids crying over someone else's grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43798) - you deserved it (2458)
On 05/13/2009 at 1:46pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Yukon Territory)
Today, a parent came into my class and told one of my 6 year old students that their grandma died. Then the parent left. The kid started crying from the news, which then got all the other students crying. I spent the rest of the day comforting a class of kids crying over someone else's grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43798) - you deserved it (2458)
On 05/13/2009 at 1:46pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Yukon Territory)
Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. Due to the drugs they gave me I felt nauseous. When I went to the bathroom as a precaution I did not throw up. Instead I passed out face first in the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36897) - you deserved it (1918)
On 05/11/2009 at 4:37pm - health - by anon (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to go visit my beloved husband in the hospital. As I went past the nurses station, I heard them talking about the "bastard in Room 303." I went on to visit my husband in room 303. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40317) - you deserved it (602)
On 05/10/2009 at 1:38am - health - by LadyLuck (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was desperately handing out resumes. I came to my local grocery store and asked for a job application, the customer service rep told me all she needed was my resume. I smiled and gave it to her only to see her read it, laugh and put it straight in the garbage as I walked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39535) - you deserved it (3504)
On 05/07/2009 at 3:15pm - work - by nojob (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boss asked me to pick up some supplies for a presentation. I entered the store in the middle of an armed robbery, was knocked to the floor, and had my cash, phone and credit cards stolen. When I told my boss the story, she said, "So were you able to get the binder clips?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (54941) - you deserved it (2485)
On 05/06/2009 at 12:52am - work - by Jay (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I pissed my younger brother off. Seemingly unrelated to this was the fact that I left my laptop on in my room along with MSN signed into my email adress. Now, all my contacts know that I apparently "just love the warm feeling of semen sliding down my throat". FML
I agree, your life sucks (38277) - you deserved it (24222)
On 05/05/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my 6 year old granddaughter was sitting on my lap playing with the rings on my fingers. After a moment, she pointed to a gold ring with many jewels and said, "When you die can I have that one?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (50621) - you deserved it (2803)
On 05/03/2009 at 12:16am - kids - by itswhateverr (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, at the awards ceremony at my school, I ended up winning the top achievement award in my grade. The principal spent at least ten minutes talking about my success to the audience, the whole time referring to me as a "he" as I stood right next to him. I'm a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66791) - you deserved it (3630)
On 05/01/2009 at 7:48pm - misc - by smartgirl (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I woke up with the worst cold, ever. My nose was running like crazy and my eyes were all puffy. So I stumbled over to the medicine cabinet and took what I thought were three tylenol cold's. Two hours later I'm still sick and I can't leave the bathroom. They were laxatives. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34167) - you deserved it (18345)
On 04/30/2009 at 9:40pm - health - by fuckmyliiiiiiife (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I had a dentist appointment after class so I threw my electric toothbrush in my backpack so I could brush my teeth before. In the middle of class the toothbrush turns on and the vibrations could be heard throughout the classroom. They yelled at me "Jess has a vibrator!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (38722) - you deserved it (7229)
On 04/30/2009 at 12:51am - misc - by jess (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Monday 17 June 2013
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