About zobara : There's nothing to say about me.
zobara's FML badges
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
zobara's favorite FMLs
Today, I was lying on a couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML
by Annie / 08/24/2015 at 4:46am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML
by MyBallsForSaleOnEbay / 08/21/2015 at 11:25am / Malta / Kids
Today, I was on a date, and I tried breaking the ice by telling him my best joke. He laughed hysterically for a good 10 seconds, started beating the table with his fist, then suddenly went deadpan and said "No, seriously, you're a moron. Screw this date." FML
by HAIL SITHIS / 07/24/2015 at 2:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, a girl with a picture of One Direction as her desktop asked if I wanted to partner with her on a 70% law assignment. Two hours after saying no, I found out that she's a legal genius with a guaranteed job in the field and a near perfect GPA. FML
by Steve97 / 07/13/2015 at 12:15am / United States (California) / Love
by sheWontbeOnMyZombieApocteam / 07/12/2015 at 3:56pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I finally finished downloading a 60GB TV series after two weeks of waiting. Every single "episode" turned out to be Rick Astley singing Never Gonna Give You Up, on constant repeat. I almost respect the prankster's effort enough to not want to gut him like a fish. Almost. FML
by Anonymous / 07/10/2015 at 8:52pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
Today, my phone kept beeping, so I put it on silent and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I found the guy I went on a date with last night had sent dozens of messages. The first was "Good morning! :)" and the last was "Answer me u fuckin cunt!!!!" I think I'm staying single. FML
by Anonymous / 07/10/2015 at 3:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, as always, I have a type of eczema that flares up when I'm stressed out or anxious. And today, the girl I've been in love with for 4 years asked me out on a date. We meet up in a few hours, and right now I look like I have smallpox. FML
by Anonymous / 07/10/2015 at 1:07pm / United States / Health
Today, I finally hooked up with my longtime crush. I told all my friends about it, because of course I was really excited. Until later that night, when he texted me, telling me not to tell anyone what had happened, and that it was a one time deal. Oh, and right after that, he asked me for nudes. FML
by roxieee234 / 07/10/2015 at 1:24am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/08/2015 at 4:50pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by Johnvris / 07/08/2015 at 10:44am / Aruba / Love
Today, after my boss has gotten in the habit of calling me "bubble wrap girl" at work because I'm clumsy and he claims I need to be covered in bubble wrap for my own protection, I have just probably broken two toes by dropping a hairdryer on my foot. I will never hear the end of this. FML
by Bubbles_the_klut / 07/06/2015 at 11:21pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/03/2015 at 3:29pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Love
Today, I quit my job so I wouldn't have to work with this one complete fuck-wit anymore. I told him what I thought of him, and then walked away giving him the middle finger. Turns out, he is a regular customer at my new job. Everyone loves him and thinks he's awesome. FML
by Anonymous / 07/02/2015 at 12:49am / Australia (Queensland) / Work