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zmiddz

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zmiddz
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  • Number of visits : 3782
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

#2009053
707 comments

I agree, your life sucks (139833) - you deserved it (32569)

On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)

Today, I texted my boyfriend to see if he wanted to finally have sex today. His response was "Can't, Platinum just came out." I didn't know what that meant so I searched "Platinum 3-22-2009" on Google. I found out he's talking about a new Pokémon game. FML

#542382
440 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98980) - you deserved it (15608)

On 03/22/2009 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by thisreallysucks2 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML

#242557
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43839) - you deserved it (8378)

On 03/08/2009 at 3:08pm - kids - by nutsucker (woman) - United States (New York)



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