zizzleman

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Offline (the 09/04/2016 at 12:02am)

zizzleman

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 319
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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zizzleman's page activity

Visits<b>Kirito_Kazuto</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 3:06pm<b>Mfroz</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 10:00pm<b>iireenee</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 3:36pm<b>olpally</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 7:19am

zizzleman's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of zizzleman's badges

zizzleman's favorite FMLs

Today, my 4-year-old daughter stood up to a bully in the mall. I was the one who was getting bullied. FML

by DocShadow / 12/03/2013 at 12:33pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I went to a dance and saw a really cute guy. Glow sticks were everywhere, so trying to be cute, I took a broken one and dripped some of the glowing liquid on my chest. It made him notice me, but only for him to point out that I'd managed to cut myself and was bleeding badly. FML

by Anonymous / 07/24/2013 at 12:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2012 at 7:48am / France (Picardie) / Love

Today, I saw Saw IV with my boyfriend. He held me close and said, "I'll protect you." A few seconds later, he jumped up so violently, he gave me a bloody nose, and ran screaming out of the room. FML

by asdfghjkl / 12/18/2010 at 2:14pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I asked my mother if we were eating supper soon so I could take a nap. She said "no" so I went into my room and fell asleep. When I woke up, everybody was gone. My entire family of 6 went to Olive Garden while I was sleeping. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2010 at 7:15pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my incredibly self conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML

by captainocd / 08/19/2010 at 3:16pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, while tuning my bass guitar, I noticed a very strange screeching sound. I leaned over to look behind the neck. The biggest string snapped off and cut the side of my face. FML

by jooshuarr / 06/18/2010 at 7:09pm / Spain (Comunidad Valenciana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

by danggit3290 / 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML

by Anon / 01/30/2009 at 6:39am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I remember the first night I spent with my first English boyfriend. I'm French, and when we woke up, I said in my most sexy voice "Oh, I'm so dirty!" It's only when he left that I finally understood the look on his face; I wanted to have a glass of water. I was thirsty, not dirty. FML

by aur / 11/12/2008 at 3:10am / Intimacy