Chinese - Shanghai descent. DDR Master, rabid Pokemon fan.
Today, I found out I will not be getting my class ring. The jeweler has a policy against doing engravings that contain “obscene or offensive language or phrases”. What obscene phrase did I want? My initials and year. W.T.F. 2010. FML
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On 11/18/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by Grad2010 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was watching Pokémon with my daughter when she told me that I reminded her of her favorite Pokémon. Feeling good about it, I asked which one. She pointed to the screen and said "Snorlax!" The fat and lazy one. FML
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On 11/15/2009 at 8:45am - kids - by dessaye (woman) - Singapore
Today, I wore my cool new shirt with an oriental character on it to class. The Chinese TA burst into laughter and told me the shirt read, "I am a sad, pathetic person." FML
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On 11/14/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Molly (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was at a party where I ate bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML
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On 11/14/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by swedishdude (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Today, for my birthday, my friends and family gave me: A Wii Fit, a free year at the gym and a book of diet recipes. They didn't consult with each other. I've asked for "something corresponding to me". FML
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On 11/11/2009 at 11:03am - health - by Timetoloseweight (woman) - France (Ile-de-France)
Today, I saw my grandmother. All of my cousins and I went to say "hi" to her, one by one. When I got up to her and said, "Hi grandma!", she said in Chinese, "I don't remember this one." FML
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On 11/06/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by ForgottenKid (man) - United States (California)
Today, I discovered that when you're the maid of honor giving a toast at your best friend's wedding, it's important to make sure the zipper on your dress is secured. Otherwise, your bare breasts and Hello Kitty panties could end up exposed to a wedding party of 600 people. FML
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On 10/24/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by meg265 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I microwaved a cup of soup. While walking back to my desk to eat and do homework, I noticed a message that said, "WARNING: Hold cup by sides, as lid may not be secure." At that exact moment, the lid that I was holding fell off and the soup drenched my Nintendo DS, and printer. FML
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On 10/20/2009 at 1:44pm - misc - by Omi (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was texting my boyfriend. I noticed that he had added a signature onto his texts that had the date 11/10/09. At first, I blushed and thought it was the date we had become a couple. But then I realized it was just the day the new Call of Duty game comes out. Love you too. FML
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On 10/20/2009 at 1:26am - love - by gamergirlfriend (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I wrote the most beautiful college application essay ever, ten minutes before the online deadline. Instead of clicking "submit", I clicked the button next to it that said "return". The entire essay vanished into internet wasteland. FML
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On 10/16/2009 at 4:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend left for a month-long trip with his buddies. I stood near the door waiting for a goodbye kiss. He kissed his xbox goodbye instead. FML
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On 10/10/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by kissless (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I took a girl out I've been seeing for two months on our first real date. I had saved all my money for the week for this. I took her to a beautiful restaurant uptown. She got hammered, hit me and screamed that I would never be as good as "Marshall." FML
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On 10/10/2009 at 2:06pm - love - by pistonsunshine (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticed. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curvier than me. FML
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On 10/07/2009 at 12:39am - love - by NotAParabola (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I met my new roommate. I also met her stuffed animals, who introduced themselves to me. My roommate makes inanimate objects talk. FML
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On 10/06/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by roomie487 - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML
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On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - misc - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)
