zip123

Search for a member

zip123

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4931
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

zip123's page activity

Visits<b>XRud3xGuyX</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 9:34pm<b>pabtu64</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 8:27pm<b>rocker_chick105</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 5:01pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:20am<b>FMLkYLee</b> - the 06/19/2010 at 11:06pm<b>Imawhalerider</b> - the 08/03/2009 at 3:28am<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 06/21/2009 at 2:27pm<b>laurisshnazzy</b> - the 06/20/2009 at 4:08am

zip123's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

zip123's favorite FMLs

Today, while working at my life guard job, I noticed a girl bouncing on one foot over to the pool. Afraid she would trip, I whistled at her and harshly yelled "NO running or messing around on the pool deck!" She removed her towel, revealing her legs. Or leg, she only had one. FML

by ugh.. / 08/09/2009 at 11:27am / United States (Alaska) / Kids

Today, I was at the mall with my little brother. I saw him touching some expensive objects, so I slapped his arm. I noticed he wasn't my brother when he started crying and his real mom slapped me in the face. FML

by mochiko / 08/09/2009 at 3:28am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I went to Knott's Berry Farm with my girlfriend. After we got off of Supreme Scream, the ride attendant asked her, "How was it?" She pointed to me and said, "It's like sex with this man, my boyfriend; intense, then disappointing because it only lasts like 30 seconds." FML

by blank13 / 08/08/2009 at 9:41pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my parents came to the restaurant I work at as a waiter. After, I picked up the check to realize they had left me a $500 tip! We split the tips among the employees so I only got $50 back but I was still psyched. When I got home they asked me if I had noticed that they used my credit card. FML

by goin4broke / 08/07/2009 at 11:23am / United States (West Virginia) / Money

Today, I had a seizure at my boyfriend's. The second I began to seize, he cursed and picked me up, dropping me on the floor complaining "Now I have to clean the damn couch." I had urinated because I had no control over my body. The couch is still stained. He dumped me for ruining his furniture. FML

by notsomuchinlove / 08/07/2009 at 4:55am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I had a seizure at my boyfriend's. The second I began to seize, he cursed and picked me up, dropping me on the floor complaining "Now I have to clean the damn couch." I had urinated because I had no control over my body. The couch is still stained. He dumped me for ruining his furniture. FML

by notsomuchinlove / 08/07/2009 at 4:55am / United States (California) / Love

Today, while eating at a restaurant, I commented to the waiter about how large the pizza was. He then writes down his number, pats his crotch fondly, and informs me that "everything" I'm going to find at that restaurant is going to be big. He was serious. FML

by Screwupify / 08/06/2009 at 11:05am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was picking my daughter up at day care. She was outside playing kick ball. A red ball rolls over to me, and trying to impress the kids, I kicked it over the slide. I turn around to see three crying six year olds. It was their hamster ball. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2009 at 1:10pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my grandfather was counting all the grandchildren he had and saying how fortunate he was to have all of us. When I pointed out that he'd forgotten to count me, he turned and said "You're adopted, you don't count as a real grandchild" FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2009 at 8:02am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML

by just_a_bit_akwRd / 08/04/2009 at 12:15am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

by theregoesmyspermcount / 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I was holding my baby daughter during a checkup. To reassure her, I was kissing the back of her head while the Dr. was checking her hearing. After a few minutes, I realized the Dr. had put his hand to steady her head. I was kissing his hand. FML

by smoochie / 08/01/2009 at 5:37pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

by NinjaPanda88 / 08/01/2009 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I texted the man I'm dating, told him I was having a terrible day and asked him to say something to cheer me up. His response? "Did you know that rabbits shriek when they're killed?" I'm still having a terrible day, and now I can't stop thinking about dying, shrieking bunnies. FML

by deadbunnies / 07/31/2009 at 6:46pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I discovered that my cheating, stealing ex boyfriend is posting pictures of naked women having group sex, with my face photoshopped onto them. He sent those to my boss, my friends, my family, only because I refused to bail his drunken self out of jail a couple weeks ago. FML

by Spadiethestar / 07/31/2009 at 4:36am / France (Haute-Normandie) / Intimacy