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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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zip123

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zip123
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  • Number of visits : 3451
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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zip123's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend was leaving for work. From the other room I heard him call out, "see you soon beautiful." Touched, I went to give him a parting kiss. He stopped me and said, "I was talking to the cat." FML

#4656654 (79)

I agree, your life sucks (32681) - you deserved it (3061)

On 08/19/2009 at 2:10pm - misc - by burned_away - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at Wal Mart, I saw a guy taping a sign that read "Hide & seek world champs!" over the lost children board. I chased him out of the store, then came back to take it down. As i was trying to remove the sign, a huge crowd began cursing at me and threatening me. They thought I'd made the sign. FML

#4651060 (177)

I agree, your life sucks (36957) - you deserved it (3283)

On 08/19/2009 at 6:32am - misc - by Dude (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML

#4644829 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (52708) - you deserved it (1911)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Amara1717 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!!" FML

#4630669 (221)

I agree, your life sucks (74613) - you deserved it (4457)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML

#4574797 (212)

I agree, your life sucks (58036) - you deserved it (7832)

On 08/16/2009 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I wore the new bathing suit my boyfriend got me for my birthday to a family reunion pool party. Turns out, it was a gag gift that dissolves after 3 minutes in water. FML

#4550817 (213)

I agree, your life sucks (60962) - you deserved it (4726)

On 08/15/2009 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my grandma went to get my twin sister and I a birthday gift. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute, cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML

#4530948 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (37304) - you deserved it (2553)

On 08/14/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by twingirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

#4525246 (214)

I agree, your life sucks (47871) - you deserved it (5205)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was on the bus, when an elderly woman stepped in. She looked too weak to stand. She looked at me with her sad puppy eyes, expecting me to give up my seat for her. I felt sorry and got up. As soon as she sat down, she says, "Ha! Sucker!" She didn't look so cute anymore. FML

#4516147 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (35675) - you deserved it (5062)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I bought a feezer mug that looks like it's full of water. I've been playing tricks on my friends by throwing the empty cup at them. After doing this a few dozen times, my 83 year-old mother came to visit. I played the same trick on her. The joke's on me. My Dad filled the cup. FML

#4495233 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (5517) - you deserved it (44909)

On 08/13/2009 at 3:27am - misc - by oldtexas (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year old boy. FML

#4478498 (197)

I agree, your life sucks (42206) - you deserved it (5131)

On 08/12/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by auslander (man) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML

#4462410 (240)

I agree, your life sucks (921) - you deserved it (2436)

On 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm - kids - by ahhahaha (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I told my mom about how my friend is going to China for a year instead of college. My mom suggested that I could do the same. When I told her that a trip to China is probably more expensive than my college tuition, my mom replied, "Not for a one way ticket". FML

#4454040 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (32184) - you deserved it (4548)

On 08/11/2009 at 4:31pm - misc - by unwanted - Canada

Today, I had a horrible breakup with my girlfriend of two years. In my depressive state, I changed my Facebook status to the Blue October lyrics "Hate me today, Hate me tomorrow, Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you." My ex commented, "Give me an orgasm?" Five of my friends, including my mom, "Liked" this. FML

#4443925 (218)

I agree, your life sucks (37648) - you deserved it (14537)

On 08/11/2009 at 2:40am - love - by JazzSpazz (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my friend how I liked this girl but was too scared to ask her out. He told me "Why? The worst she's going to do is say no." Building confidence I approached her and asked her on a date. Then she replied "Get away douchebag!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML

#4423387 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (46235) - you deserved it (3150)

On 08/10/2009 at 5:20am - love - by Rejected (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)