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zingline89

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zingline89
  • Town/Country : Wisconsin, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 July 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 3253
  • Number of comments : 441
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About zingline89 : Real estate investor and salesman. If you think something I said was stupid, you most likely failed to sense the sarcasm. Either that or I just said something really stupid.

zingline89's last visitors

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zingline89's FML badges

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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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zingline89's favorite FMLs

Today, I gave a big presentation at work, hoping to impress my boss and angle for a promotion. I was already nervous, but a co-worker at the back kept making goofy faces, causing me to repeatedly break into laughter. My boss accused me of being high, and suspended me on the spot. FML

#20144868
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17417) - you deserved it (3121)

On 11/02/2012 at 8:23pm - work - by YOUFUCKINGFUCKSOCK (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

#20144826
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25287) - you deserved it (2618)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by for fuck sake dad (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, after nearly a year of headaches and fuzzy vision, I went to the eye doctor. It turns out I've had my contacts in the wrong eyes for a year. FML

Today, I realized why it's a bad idea to store your business cards and your "emergency condom" in the same handbag compartment. I realized this after a client watched me miss the cards and pull out the condom after our lunch meeting. FML

#20144136
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5418) - you deserved it (21289)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:35am - work - by Hornymuch (woman) - Germany

Today, I finally got to attend the concert I have been anticipating for weeks. The band was great. The drunk guy sitting behind me yelling profanity and out of tune lyrics in my ear throughout the entire show, however, was not. FML

#20144110
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14280) - you deserved it (1494)

On 11/02/2012 at 6:37am - misc - by annoyed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a customer smiled, looked me in the eye and described to me in graphic detail the swelling that occurred to his nuts after his vasectomy. FML

#20142730
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15771) - you deserved it (1300)

On 11/01/2012 at 9:52am - work - by tmi. - Australia

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML

#20142541
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28456) - you deserved it (6192)

On 11/01/2012 at 3:54am - intimacy - by okay._. - United States (California)

Today, I had surgery on my arm. My mom has recently had the same surgery and my dad is having his first rib removed and won't be able to move his arm. My family combined now has three functioning arms. FML

#20142449
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17155) - you deserved it (1178)

On 11/01/2012 at 1:08am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had surgery on my arm. My mom has recently had the same surgery and my dad is having his first rib removed and won't be able to move his arm. My family combined now has three functioning arms. FML

#20142449
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17155) - you deserved it (1178)

On 11/01/2012 at 1:08am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, the bar owner I work for told us to pay better attention to our drunk patrons, and to start cutting them off. A fellow bar maid asked how we are supposed to tell when it's time. He pointed at me and said, "When they start hitting on her, they're too drunk to drive." FML

#20141378
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24509) - you deserved it (1718)

On 10/31/2012 at 7:30am - work - by kat (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML

#20141343
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21036) - you deserved it (2774)

On 10/31/2012 at 6:06am - misc - by hakuna matata - United States (California)

Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend what she got me for my half birthday, to which she replied "A baby." She was serious. FML

Today, I was at the mall and I noticed this guy staring at me from across the food court. He smiled and waved at me so I walked over there and tried to talk to him. He was looking at his girlfriend the whole time. FML

#20138654
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15614) - you deserved it (3996)

On 10/29/2012 at 1:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

#20136968
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21764) - you deserved it (4929)

On 10/28/2012 at 12:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML

#20132312
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16339) - you deserved it (10826)

On 10/25/2012 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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