zingline89

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Offline (the 02/13/2016 at 10:20pm)

zingline89

23Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 July 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7590
  • Number of comments : 448
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About zingline89 : Real estate investor and salesman. If you think something I said was stupid, you most likely failed to sense the sarcasm. Either that or I just said something really stupid.

zingline89's page activity

Visits<b>dBLIZZARD</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 5:24pm<b>JohnTheDonJuan</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 8:56am<b>oyeh</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 7:19pm<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 6:39pm<b>jet223</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 3:24pm<b>bjnono001</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 7:57pm<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 11:45am<b>RaRitsujun</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 2:13pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 11:01pm<b>Frozen_Flames</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 12:10pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 4:26pm<b>riahlum</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 3:12pm<b>notminecraft</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 12:00am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 1:47pm<b>MassiDelta</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 11:21pm<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 10:24am<b>Lenora_Cain</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 8:58pm<b>Loyalteez</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 1:02pm

Fucked!<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 5:45pm<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 4:24pm<b>theBalloonPerson</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 5:05pm<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 4:27pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 5:55am<b>Supaviper</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 4:46am<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 3:56am<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 1:28am<b>Chronomay</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 4:22pm<b>eck1220</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 12:00am<b>NozomiTojo</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 3:45pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 9:50pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 1:46pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 12:27am<b>ZombieSazza</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 10:35pm<b>vikingchick</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 4:09pm<b>BlondePsycho</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 4:34am<b>PartyMoose</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 10:55am

zingline89's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of zingline89's badges

zingline89's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought a new armband to hold my iPhone while working out so I can listen to music and I was excited to start getting in shape. Unfortunately, when I tried it on, my arm was too big and it didn't fit. FML

by joe / 11/18/2012 at 10:13pm / United States (Maryland) / Health

Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML

by mountains / 11/18/2012 at 7:47pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to forcibly separate a boy from my daughter after he grabbed her and started shoving her around. I complained to his mother, only to have her shout, "mind your fucking business" and say that her son can do whatever the hell he wants. FML

by WELL FUCK YOU KINDLY, MA'AM / 11/18/2012 at 4:22pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my English professor accused me of plagiarizing a poem I submitted, because she'd read it online earlier that day. The poem was mine; I posted it after writing it for her class, and even after logging into the site to prove it, she reported me to the school. FML

Today, I bought an $80, "invincible" phone case. One test drop later, my phone had turned into an expensive paperweight. FML

by bummed and broke / 11/13/2012 at 1:24pm / United States / Money

Today, I watched my neighbor shake cat food calling, "Come here Mollie" at his back door. I then saw my own cat run into his house. I now know why my cat is so fat and never replies to me calling her Bonnie. I guess I'm being cheated on. FML

by kitty / 11/11/2012 at 5:10am / Australia / Animals

Today, my dad offered to pay me $40 to wash his car. Needing money to buy a video game, I agreed, and went out in the freezing weather to do the job. I finished the task, only to be paid in Monopoly money. My dad still hasn't gotten over how "funny" his prank was. FML

by Anonymous / 11/10/2012 at 10:10pm / Canada / Money

Today, while at a stop light, I was rear-ended by a car behind me. The guy got angry at me, because according to him, I should've known that his car has poor braking distance, and so I should've moved forward a few more feet to compensate. FML

by Me / 11/10/2012 at 7:29pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML

by dating a fking cnt / 11/09/2012 at 7:16pm / Canada / Health

Today, I had to present a program to my supervisors in University. Not being a native English speaker, I used my own invented abbreviations for parameters in the program. Apparently STD is not an appropriate abbreviation for "standard deviation." I can still hear them laughing. FML

by EnglishLearner / 11/09/2012 at 11:23am / Switzerland (Zurich) / Work

Today, at a red light, my mom started to tell me that she and my dad hadn't had sex in months, that they "probably won't bounce back from this one," and are most likely getting a divorce. FML

by rastamerican / 11/06/2012 at 8:29pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was waitressing for a huge family. Their bill was $750. Excited about the tip, I was shocked to see only $0.50. As they were leaving, I threw the two whole quarters at their heads. Guess who also got fired today. FML

by Misunderstood Waitress / 11/06/2012 at 5:37pm / United States / Work

Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML

by spiderwoman / 11/04/2012 at 12:12pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Animals

Today, my hubby and I decided to spice up our sex life and went to an adult toy store. We know too many people in our town, so we drove to one that was 30 mins away. We decided on our items, and went to the check out. Who would have guessed my next door neighbor works there as a cashier? FML

by screwed / 11/04/2012 at 4:55am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered "cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

by Anonymous / 11/03/2012 at 2:02pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy