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zingline89

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zingline89
  • Town/Country : Wisconsin, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 July 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 3215
  • Number of comments : 441
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About zingline89 : Real estate investor and salesman. If you think something I said was stupid, you most likely failed to sense the sarcasm. Either that or I just said something really stupid.

zingline89's last visitors

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zingline89's FML badges

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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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zingline89's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to forcibly separate a boy from my daughter after he grabbed her and started shoving her around. I complained to his mother, only to have her shout, "mind your fucking business" and say that her son can do whatever the hell he wants. FML

#20168309
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20523) - you deserved it (987)

On 11/18/2012 at 4:22pm - kids - by WELL FUCK YOU KINDLY, MA'AM (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my English professor accused me of plagiarizing a poem I submitted, because she'd read it online earlier that day. The poem was mine; I posted it after writing it for her class, and even after logging into the site to prove it, she reported me to the school. FML

Today, I bought an $80, "invincible" phone case. One test drop later, my phone had turned into an expensive paperweight. FML

#20161826
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7427) - you deserved it (26520)

On 11/13/2012 at 1:24pm - money - by bummed and broke - United States

Today, I watched my neighbor shake cat food calling, "Come here Mollie" at his back door. I then saw my own cat run into his house. I now know why my cat is so fat and never replies to me calling her Bonnie. I guess I'm being cheated on. FML

#20158567
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20220) - you deserved it (2167)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:10am - animals - by kitty - Australia

Today, my dad offered to pay me $40 to wash his car. Needing money to buy a video game, I agreed, and went out in the freezing weather to do the job. I finished the task, only to be paid in Monopoly money. My dad still hasn't gotten over how "funny" his prank was. FML

#20158140
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18569) - you deserved it (2311)

On 11/10/2012 at 10:10pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, while at a stop light, I was rear-ended by a car behind me. The guy got angry at me, because according to him, I should've known that his car has poor braking distance, and so I should've moved forward a few more feet to compensate. FML

#20157954
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23015) - you deserved it (1134)

On 11/10/2012 at 7:29pm - misc - by Me - United States

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML

#20156617
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15786) - you deserved it (1974)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:16pm - health - by dating a fking cnt (man) - Canada

Today, I had to present a program to my supervisors in University. Not being a native English speaker, I used my own invented abbreviations for parameters in the program. Apparently STD is not an appropriate abbreviation for "standard deviation." I can still hear them laughing. FML

#20156190
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18140) - you deserved it (6797)

On 11/09/2012 at 11:23am - work - by EnglishLearner (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, at a red light, my mom started to tell me that she and my dad hadn't had sex in months, that they "probably won't bounce back from this one," and are most likely getting a divorce. FML

#20151103
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18604) - you deserved it (1274)

On 11/06/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by rastamerican - United States (California)

Today, I was waitressing for a huge family. Their bill was $750. Excited about the tip, I was shocked to see only $0.50. As they were leaving, I threw the two whole quarters at their heads. Guess who also got fired today. FML

#20150831
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17122) - you deserved it (40578)

On 11/06/2012 at 5:37pm - work - by Misunderstood Waitress (woman) - United States

Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML

#20147226
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15816) - you deserved it (10676)

On 11/04/2012 at 12:12pm - animals - by spiderwoman (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, my hubby and I decided to spice up our sex life and went to an adult toy store. We know too many people in our town, so we drove to one that was 30 mins away. We decided on our items, and went to the check out. Who would have guessed my next door neighbor works there as a cashier? FML

#20146867
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29062) - you deserved it (4549)

On 11/04/2012 at 4:55am - intimacy - by screwed - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered "cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

#20145795
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31557) - you deserved it (3330)

On 11/03/2012 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my extremely overweight roommate decided to not only be a nudist, but also to get in shape for his new lifestyle. He's been doing naked lunges in our room for the last twenty minutes. FML

#20145644
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21905) - you deserved it (1588)

On 11/03/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by xXfloatingshitlogXx (woman) - Norway (Akershus)

Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML

#20144932
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34442) - you deserved it (5145)

On 11/02/2012 at 9:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)



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