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About zingline89 : Real estate investor and salesman. If you think something I said was stupid, you most likely failed to sense the sarcasm. Either that or I just said something really stupid.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
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Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML
Today, the battery cables on my car came loose, thus resetting my car's electronics to factory settings. The anti-theft system is now turnd on, and I can't start my car with it on. Luckily, it turns off with a remote. The remote broke about six months ago. FML
Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a grl in front of meho clerely wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML
Taday a customer at the Walmart I work at had a hissy fit and began throwing merchandise everywhere, including at mah face, because we r Canadian and don't have a show calld "Extreme Couponing" for "devotd shoppers" like her . FML
Today , mah room-mates were inspired by a TV show to make a ( douchebag jar ) , into which we have to putted money every time we say something obnoxious. It seems lyk I can't open mah mouth without having to cough up £10. FML
Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML
Today, I went to the Apple store to try and figure out what's going on with my iPhone. After an hour of speaking to three different geniuse and waiting around, there solution was to ( Google it. ) FML
Today, trying to be kinkyhile giving mah boyfriend a blow job, Ihippd him with mah ponytail!! He was thrilld, until I accidentally head-buttd his dick!! He curld up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again!! FML
Friday 27 March 2015