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zingline89

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zingline89
  • Town/Country : Wisconsin, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 July 1989 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 1785
  • Number of comments : 420
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About zingline89 : Real estate investor and salesman. If you think something I said was stupid, you most likely failed to sense the sarcasm. Either that or I just said something really stupid.

zingline89's last visitors

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zingline89's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of zingline89's badges

zingline89's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML

#20182568
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17335) - you deserved it (1283)

On 11/28/2012 at 12:43pm - health - by williebees - United States (Texas)

Today, a customer at the Walmart I work at had a hissy fit and began throwing merchandise everywhere, including at my face, because we are Canadian and don't have a show called "Extreme Couponing" for "devoted shoppers" like her. FML

#20181556
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13470) - you deserved it (932)

On 11/27/2012 at 6:46pm - work - by ohgodwhy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my room-mates were inspired by a TV show to make a "douchebag jar", into which we have to put money every time we say something obnoxious. It seems like I can't open my mouth without having to cough up £10. FML

#20176638
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4937) - you deserved it (14887)

On 11/24/2012 at 1:41pm - misc - by kay51 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML

#20174027
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17412) - you deserved it (1018)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm - work - by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

#20173351
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14024) - you deserved it (2538)

On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the Apple store to try and figure out what's going on with my iPhone. After an hour of speaking to three different geniuses and waiting around, their solution was to "Google it." FML

#20171869
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16350) - you deserved it (2466)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:42am - misc - by Jo - United States (California)

Today, my dog climbed onto the dining room table to eat the cat's food. Then whined until I showed him how to get down. He does this every night. My dog is a genius. FML

#20171812
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10648) - you deserved it (2982)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:00am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I'm in the hospital and it's been 44 hours since I've eaten anything. My doctors won't let me eat and my parents are sitting across the room, eating. FML

#20171321
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15381) - you deserved it (873)

On 11/20/2012 at 6:25pm - health - by RayneSong - United States (Michigan)

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

#20170605
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9037) - you deserved it (25208)

On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend of 6 months yelled at me for not comforting her while she was crying because her ex got a new girlfriend, and "it's just not fair." FML

#20169074
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23999) - you deserved it (1859)

On 11/19/2012 at 2:13am - love - by they've been broken up for a year. - United States (Texas)

Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML

#20169028
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16614) - you deserved it (1617)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:21am - health - by NOIDIDNOT (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I bought a new armband to hold my iPhone while working out so I can listen to music and I was excited to start getting in shape. Unfortunately, when I tried it on, my arm was too big and it didn't fit. FML

#20168720
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13270) - you deserved it (4423)

On 11/18/2012 at 10:13pm - health - by joe - United States (Maryland)

Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML

#20168543
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12862) - you deserved it (935)

On 11/18/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by mountains - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to forcibly separate a boy from my daughter after he grabbed her and started shoving her around. I complained to his mother, only to have her shout, "mind your fucking business" and say that her son can do whatever the hell he wants. FML

#20168309
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19646) - you deserved it (960)

On 11/18/2012 at 4:22pm - kids - by WELL FUCK YOU KINDLY, MA'AM (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my English professor accused me of plagiarizing a poem I submitted, because she'd read it online earlier that day. The poem was mine; I posted it after writing it for her class, and even after logging into the site to prove it, she reported me to the school. FML



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