Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

zingline89

Online | Search for a member

zingline89

9Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 July 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5301
  • Number of comments : 447
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About zingline89 : Real estate investor and salesman. If you think something I said was stupid, you most likely failed to sense the sarcasm. Either that or I just said something really stupid.

zingline89's page activity

Visits<b>fiveforfighting</b> - 21 hours ago<b>Allnightampm</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 6:25pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 9:15pm<b>CinematicKid</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 5:48pm<b>amandalynn84</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 12:00am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 7:27pm<b>venomousflower</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 4:41pm<b>EternalOptimist</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 2:44pm<b>stawberi12</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 9:53pm<b>kjax</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 6:54pm<b>lovelyvampire</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 5:25pm<b>Enslaved</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 12:36pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 8:29pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 1:38pm<b>ZombieSazza</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 5:35pm<b>pam241</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 2:50pm<b>cutycat136</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 5:17pm<b>gamergirl18155</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 4:33pm

Liked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 12:27am<b>ZombieSazza</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 10:35pm<b>vikingchick</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 4:09pm<b>BlondePsycho</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 4:34am<b>PartyMoose</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 10:55am<b>dragonkisses28</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 2:25am<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 3:25pm<b>TheEmoSuperman</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 7:50am<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 4:18pm

zingline89's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of zingline89's badges

zingline89's favorite FMLs

Today, the highly intoxicated singer of my band decided it would be a wonderful idea to squat down and take a shit on stage in the middle of a gig. FML

#20408486
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37178) - you deserved it (4281)

On 12/20/2012 at 3:16am - misc - by dudeyouarefired -

Today, my neighbor installed a large radio that loudly plays Christmas music 24/7. When I called in a complaint to the police department they told me to, "get in the Christmas spirit." FML

#20404496
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29769) - you deserved it (10181)

On 12/17/2012 at 9:28pm - misc - by James (man) - United States

Today, it was my first day at my new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed, two residents passed away, and I got beaten up by an old man. FML

#20401181
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25392) - you deserved it (2228)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:46pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my son sprayed the bottom of my car and windows white with fake snow in Christmas cheer. He did a great job, except he used white spray paint instead of the fake snow. FML

#20400437
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25546) - you deserved it (2154)

On 12/15/2012 at 6:48am - misc - by teejayrn - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I avoided having to wash the dishes by faking a cold. My sucker of a wife believed me and hopped off my balls about it. Later on, after I made a miraculous recovery, she told me to take out the trash. It's freezing outside and raining, and I feel a very real cold coming on. FML

#20399412
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5753) - you deserved it (70929)

On 12/14/2012 at 2:19pm - misc - by fuckmyassimcold (man) - United States

Today, I went on a cruise. I gave my bags to a porter, and tipped him $5. Later that night, my bags still hadn't arrived at my room, and that's when I realized that I'd paid a fake porter to steal my bags. FML

#20397361
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22692) - you deserved it (4691)

On 12/12/2012 at 10:43pm - misc - by McFizzy321 - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, my hand hit his shoulder and I dropped my phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, my dad was staring at us from outside. He still appears to think I was giving him head. FML

#20200049
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36131) - you deserved it (3745)

On 12/11/2012 at 2:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, it's my sixth day taking care of my family's seven animals while my parents are in Singapore. So far, I've emergency-called the vet twice, taken a dog to the vet once, and cleaned up liquid dog shit five times. FML

#20197436
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21555) - you deserved it (2390)

On 12/09/2012 at 8:18am - animals - by KennyDidIt - United States (Alabama)

Today, my dad got a warning from our ISP for going well over their fair usage limit. I barely use our wifi, and I keep telling him he should password-protect our router to stop people leeching our Internet. He's blaming me anyway, and says I'm grounded until January. FML

#20195319
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24054) - you deserved it (1719)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:49pm - misc - by WPA2 OR DEATH (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after telling my young kids all about Santa, his reindeer and his sleigh, we saw him. Smoking a cigarette in the beat-up car next to ours at a red light. FML

#20192265
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20688) - you deserved it (3855)

On 12/05/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by JessThompson - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bought my son a nice car for his 18th birthday. When I gave it to him, he just got mad and told me that if I really wanted to spend that much money on him, I should've used it to help him pay for college. FML

#20192045
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15199) - you deserved it (49519)

On 12/05/2012 at 6:27am - kids - by Anonymous - Israel

Today, my science class found out that I have OCD and that one of my rituals is to cough when others cough. This is going to be a long year. FML

#20191703
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23375) - you deserved it (3652)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

#20191552
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12021) - you deserved it (28252)

On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I ran into my high school crush at Target. When I asked her if she remembered me, she patted me on the head, said, "Unfortunately," and walked away. FML

#20191408
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23325) - you deserved it (2475)

On 12/04/2012 at 8:06pm - misc - by Likian5 (man) - United States

Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML

#20190789
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29642) - you deserved it (6281)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:04am - misc - by Banana (man) - Puerto Rico



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: