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zingline89

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zingline89

15Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 July 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5595
  • Number of comments : 447
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About zingline89 : Real estate investor and salesman. If you think something I said was stupid, you most likely failed to sense the sarcasm. Either that or I just said something really stupid.

zingline89's page activity

Visits<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - 8 hours ago<b>Steffi3</b> - 14 hours ago<b>Chronomay</b> - 17 hours ago<b>KatieKoala</b> - yesterday at 7:25pm<b>eck1220</b> - yesterday at 6:00pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - yesterday at 12:22pm<b>jackroarrr</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 10:20pm<b>noahx</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 12:03pm<b>NozomiTojo</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 9:45am<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 6:55pm<b>kukumber</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 3:43pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 4:27pm<b>funsizedliz</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 3:57pm<b>ptellini</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 1:27pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 3:50pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 4:53pm<b>melisssa87</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 9:46am<b>nityasomaiya</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 2:47pm

Fucked!<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - 2 hours ago<b>Chronomay</b> - 11 hours ago<b>eck1220</b> - yesterday at 12:00am<b>NozomiTojo</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 3:45pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 9:50pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 1:46pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 12:27am<b>ZombieSazza</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 10:35pm<b>vikingchick</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 4:09pm<b>BlondePsycho</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 4:34am<b>PartyMoose</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 10:55am<b>dragonkisses28</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 2:25am<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 3:25pm<b>TheEmoSuperman</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 7:50am<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 4:18pm

zingline89's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of zingline89's badges

zingline89's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my recurring acne is actually bedbug bites. I have wasted about a hundred dollars on acne cream. FML

#20549483
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34179) - you deserved it (7170)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:30pm - health - by thisentiretime... - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML

#20548943
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48542) - you deserved it (14450)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:59am - intimacy - by Susan (woman) - Ireland

Today, my roommate told me that she wants to get some of those "My Family" stickers for her car. She's single and has no children. What does she want to get? One for her, and one for her goldfish. Sadly, this is probably one of the most intelligent things she's said all week. FML

#20528651
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26011) - you deserved it (3420)

On 03/02/2013 at 9:35pm - misc - by dumbass for a flatmate - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML

#20525332
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16940) - you deserved it (35887)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:57am - love - by notapervert - United States (California)

Today, I asked my boyfriend where he went to lunch. He said he went to Wendy's. I teased him and asked if he got tired of eating burgers and Frosty's all the time. His response? "What? No, I mean at Wendy's. You know, the hot girl from work?" FML

#20524344
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36816) - you deserved it (6097)

On 02/27/2013 at 12:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

#20523671
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44875) - you deserved it (5626)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, while at the nail salon, my boyfriend called. Since I was getting my nails done, I had to put him on speaker. The whole salon heard him break up with me. I can still hear their snickering in my head. FML

#20521938
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34483) - you deserved it (6905)

On 02/25/2013 at 6:04pm - love - by HeatherRosure18 - United States (Illinois)

Today, at my mother's funeral, as everyone was around her casket for the viewing, my 5-year-old son in cluelessness of what was going on shouted, "Grandma is more fun when she isn't sleeping." Everyone cried. FML

#20521929
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41271) - you deserved it (3414)

On 02/25/2013 at 6:00pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML

#20521590
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45243) - you deserved it (7343)

On 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while driving extremely fast on a road in the middle of nowhere, I started to go down a hill. Noticing a police car at the bottom, I slammed my brakes and blew a tire in the process. It turns out the police car was an old cutout used to trick people. FML

#20520975
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10830) - you deserved it (52537)

On 02/24/2013 at 10:41pm - misc - by Fox - United States

Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML

#20514612
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35732) - you deserved it (4811)

On 02/20/2013 at 7:01am - kids - by Laila - United States

Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML

#20513159
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43152) - you deserved it (9407)

On 02/19/2013 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, after being in the hospital for 2 weeks after emergency abdominal surgery, my girlfriend, who didn't even bother to ask how I was, made me hobble to her house just to dump me and send me straight back home. FML

#20511268
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35710) - you deserved it (2606)

On 02/17/2013 at 8:28pm - love - by noname - United States (New York)

Today, after spending six months completely repainting and redecorating our new home, I finally finished the last touches and went to remove the masking tape. Off came the tape, along with huge blotches of plasterwork. FML

#20503623
93 comments

Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML

#20503454
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12795) - you deserved it (31258)

On 02/12/2013 at 9:18am - love - by gassy - United States



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