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zingline89

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zingline89
  • Town/Country : Wisconsin, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 July 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 3221
  • Number of comments : 441
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About zingline89 : Real estate investor and salesman. If you think something I said was stupid, you most likely failed to sense the sarcasm. Either that or I just said something really stupid.

zingline89's last visitors

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zingline89's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of zingline89's badges

zingline89's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was at work, my boyfriend decided to give my Cocker Spaniel a haircut. I now have the equivalent of an over-sized naked mole rat running around my house. FML

#19083975
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17440) - you deserved it (2268)

On 02/15/2012 at 6:09am - animals - by workaholic (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that getting drunk and attempting to take a dump out of a second-story window is a very bad idea. FML

#19069104
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4904) - you deserved it (33111)

On 02/13/2012 at 9:55pm - misc - by michael (man) - United States

Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on for a party. I'm currently in a hospital, dressed as a chicken, waiting for medical assistance. FML

#19046512
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23255) - you deserved it (3955)

On 02/11/2012 at 5:19am - animals - by lulu - United States (Ohio)

Today, I received a parking fine for $147. My car isn't even worth that much. FML

#19045980
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20054) - you deserved it (6586)

On 02/11/2012 at 2:03am - money - by jam - Australia

Today, I accidentally dropped a sculpture at college, and it broke. Some weirdo wearing a pink cape and a fake moustache bitched me out and told me not to be such an attention-seeking drama queen. FML

#19026244
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21001) - you deserved it (2747)

On 02/08/2012 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was attacked by a bird at 3 in the morning. The bird was being attacked by an owl, and decided the safest place to land wasn't in a tree, but my face. No-one will believe me, despite the 12 stitches across my face. FML

#19026198
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21507) - you deserved it (1723)

On 02/08/2012 at 12:45pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML

#18913819
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25950) - you deserved it (3665)

On 01/26/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by RequilaRainbow - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mother called me a "wasteful child" because I threw up my lunch. FML

#18788616
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23487) - you deserved it (2321)

On 01/12/2012 at 7:59pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

#18716901
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34130) - you deserved it (4592) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm - animals - by Fat_abott - France

Today, my boyfriend texted me and said I had forgotten my blue bra. I don't have any blue bras. FML

#18534349
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35545) - you deserved it (2729)

On 12/17/2011 at 8:17am - love - by fmll - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I turned 21. It's also the day I learned how it feels to have my foot and leg set on fire by a drunken idiot who thought it was a great idea to splash lighter fluid into an open-pit bonfire. FML

#18401102
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20084) - you deserved it (2047)

On 12/01/2011 at 2:00am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, at the point of orgasm, my boyfriend screamed out, "Is this all there is?!" then rolled over and stared blankly at the ceiling without speaking for ages. This happens a lot. FML

#18335372
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33034) - you deserved it (5317)

On 11/24/2011 at 8:57am - intimacy - by Jane (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32920) - you deserved it (5850)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

#18167673
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12433) - you deserved it (24706)

On 11/05/2011 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, while reading over my sent application email to a job I have been trying to get, I found out my brother had put "Heil Hitler!" as my signature. FML

#17996037
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33113) - you deserved it (4701)

On 10/16/2011 at 3:15am - work - by Unemployed - United States (Oregon)



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