Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

zingline89

Offline (12 hours ago) | Search for a member

zingline89

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 July 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4623
  • Number of comments : 446
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About zingline89 : Real estate investor and salesman. If you think something I said was stupid, you most likely failed to sense the sarcasm. Either that or I just said something really stupid.

zingline89's page activity

Visits<b>prettyinpink4884</b> - 3 hours ago<b>mommy2cassidy</b> - 13 hours ago<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 6:54pm<b>kinzopinzi</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 11:29am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 2:17am<b>sorryheadphones</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 12:29am<b>bootyshorts</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 12:00pm<b>invadermaythe1st</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 6:18am<b>Wingman527</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 10:34pm<b>Enslaved</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 8:08am<b>TisAPenguin</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 1:55am<b>oathkeeper99</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 4:50pm<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 5:30pm<b>jmcollins08</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 9:57am<b>TheEmoSuperman</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 1:49am<b>annie917</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 5:34pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 1:56am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 3:09pm

Liked!<b>TheEmoSuperman</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 7:50am<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 4:18pm

zingline89's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of zingline89's badges

zingline89's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to an eviction notice after an apartment inspection. The reason? Having an unauthorized pet that could cause unnecessary damage to my suite. My pet is a goldfish. FML

#19223873
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29223) - you deserved it (3300)

On 03/05/2012 at 9:47pm - animals - by goldfish - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

#19222956
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25275) - you deserved it (7726)

On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States

Today, my friend and I walked 3 miles to a Starbucks. We went inside, paid for our coffees and walked the 3 miles back to my house. We forgot to pick up our coffees. FML

#19216079
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8345) - you deserved it (41779)

On 03/04/2012 at 7:27pm - money - by stuff2710 - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend told me how she crept out last night to hook up with her boyfriend. At one point, she said she "snack" out, so I corrected her by saying it's "snuck". My boyfriend snorted, showed us in a dictionary that it's actually "sneaked" and called us "fucking idiots". FML

#19204484
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8547) - you deserved it (28194)

On 03/02/2012 at 7:14pm - misc - by argh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got myself an organ donor card, just to feel wanted. FML

#19190899
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20033) - you deserved it (4847)

On 02/29/2012 at 7:09pm - misc - by Vandrefalk - Norway

Today, in bio class, we were studying the reproductive system. I don't like talking about this stuff, and I twitched every time my teacher said "penis" or "vagina." When I told my family, they laughed and kept repeating those words just to see me twitch. FML

#19182988
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9853) - you deserved it (31924)

On 02/28/2012 at 4:03pm - misc - by kal - United States (New York)

Today, someone caused over $400 worth of damage by breaking into my car, just to steal $8 worth of beer. FML

#19182487
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26856) - you deserved it (2822)

On 02/28/2012 at 2:41pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I get to stand in the unemployment line for the second time in a year because my company can't pay me. My parents own the company. FML

#19181051
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26724) - you deserved it (2707)

On 02/28/2012 at 8:27am - work - by Jaxur05 - United States

Today, my grandma seemingly decided that it was a really nice day to put my cat in the dryer. FML

#19180967
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27899) - you deserved it (2174)

On 02/28/2012 at 7:46am - animals - by JeffeeBojangles - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML

#19173596
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22922) - you deserved it (3278)

On 02/27/2012 at 7:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I picked up a warm blanket that just came out of the dryer. Despite wearing pants, the static electricity from the blanket delivered a shock straight to my crotch. FML

#19146021
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21378) - you deserved it (3730)

On 02/23/2012 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was writing my rough draft of an essay, and I forgot how to spell a word. I waited for auto correct to help. I was writing on paper. FML

#19144925
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10979) - you deserved it (39451)

On 02/23/2012 at 8:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML

#19142654
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31917) - you deserved it (2669)

On 02/22/2012 at 10:49pm - kids - by crzyry (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, in a rush to get ready, I put on some "sexy" panties that I bought years ago. By the second hour of work, they were so tight and uncomfortable, I had to cut slits up the sides to avoid cutting off the circulation to my legs. FML

#19083998
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17599) - you deserved it (12479)

On 02/15/2012 at 6:26am - health - by too tight (woman) - United States (Ohio)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: