About zingline89 : Real estate investor and salesman. If you think something I said was stupid, you most likely failed to sense the sarcasm. Either that or I just said something really stupid.
zingline89's FML badges
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
zingline89's favorite FMLs
by ducklover1 / 06/18/2012 at 11:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was told off for not holding the door open for a woman behind me at work. Yesterday I was informed that chivalry is offensive to women, as it implies that they are not equal to men. I can't win. FML
by JohnBlack / 06/11/2012 at 11:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I learned that instead of training my cat, she has been training me. She now refuses to drink anything but running tap water, and yowls loudly early in the morning at my bedroom door to be fed. FML
by Anon127 / 06/11/2012 at 10:40pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals
by Former Drummer / 06/03/2012 at 5:23pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Health
Today, I went to Busch Gardens. Trying to cool off, I got on a ride that soaked me to the bone. For the rest of the time I was there, my bra was visible through my clothes, along with the "Hell Yeah" printed on my underwear. FML
by taylortotscx / 05/27/2012 at 1:15pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I've been working on a novel for the past six months, and what would have been mid-way through, I accidentally said the main character's name instead of my boyfriend's. FML
by oh lord / 05/27/2012 at 12:06pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Username / 05/17/2012 at 10:37am / Australia / Health
Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML
by Anonymous / 05/16/2012 at 4:34pm / Netherlands (Limburg) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/16/2012 at 1:02pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
by smart move there / 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm / Ireland (Kildare) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him, saying that the only thing he would change about me is my last name. I later told him that I wanted to keep my last name after the marriage. I'm now single again. FML
by singleagain / 05/14/2012 at 9:09pm / United States / Love
Today, I attended a formal banquet. The host was delivering a speech, when I felt the urge to pee, so I tried to quietly excuse myself. My chair screeched over the floor as I got up, I tripped over my own feet, and I accidentally took the door leading outdoors, where I ended up peeing in shame. FML
by Andy / 05/12/2012 at 10:21pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML
by Class / 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by rawr_fml001 / 05/11/2012 at 7:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by lindsaykay / 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm / United States / Intimacy
- Today, I found out that a very close friend of mine masturbates to photos of me on my Instagram and… Today, I saw a cute girl working at one of those fancy pizza places. I gave her a tip and she gave… Today, my girlfriend and I woke up in a frisky mood and after a very quick glance around the house…
- Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, during a family dinner with my grandparents, I showed them some pictures. One was a picture…