About zingline89 : Real estate investor and salesman. If you think something I said was stupid, you most likely failed to sense the sarcasm. Either that or I just said something really stupid.
zingline89's FML badges
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
zingline89's favorite FMLs
Today, I was called into my 17-year-old son's high school. Why? Because it was Wednesday, also known as "Hump Day" and his friends managed to convince him that you're supposed to go around and hump people. FML
by Judy / 09/19/2012 at 7:33pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML
by identitychangeplease / 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy
by blueballs / 09/13/2012 at 8:06pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend told me to text him when I got home to let him know I'd made it home safe. He said if I didn't, he'd assume that aliens had abducted me and that he'd get a new girlfriend. He was completely serious. FML
by TaffyMichele / 09/13/2012 at 7:38pm / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/13/2012 at 6:29pm / United States / Money
by JB / 09/09/2012 at 4:34am / United States (Kentucky) / Love
by Gurl / 09/07/2012 at 6:32pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous
by amusedslovenia / 09/07/2012 at 2:19pm / Slovenia / Kids
by merissa22 / 09/01/2012 at 1:37pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
by Geckosrock99 / 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by S. / 08/26/2012 at 12:20pm / Estonia / Miscellaneous
by ihatemondays / 08/23/2012 at 2:15am / United Kingdom / Work
Today, my boss reprimanded me in front of the rest of the staff for "not following instructions" because I went to a company meeting. I have the email from him telling me to go to the meeting. He thinks I faked it. Unemployment sucks. FML
by BrokeButSmart / 08/23/2012 at 1:24am / United States (Indiana) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/22/2012 at 2:01am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the beach with my parents, and I went for a swim in the sea. I got out and my parents started laughing their asses off. It wasn't until my dad pulled a condom out of my hair that I realized what they were laughing at. My dad even took a picture. FML
by Anonymous / 06/26/2012 at 6:04pm / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Holidays
- Today, I was on an Easyjet flight, next to two attractive girls, listening to a track which starts… Today, I was watching TV with my mom. The new Trojan Ecstasy condom commercial came on. I sat there… Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted…