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zingline89

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zingline89
  • Town/Country : Wisconsin, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 July 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 3197
  • Number of comments : 441
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About zingline89 : Real estate investor and salesman. If you think something I said was stupid, you most likely failed to sense the sarcasm. Either that or I just said something really stupid.

zingline89's last visitors

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zingline89's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of zingline89's badges

zingline89's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend of six days proposed to me. FML

#20708141
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76806) - you deserved it (10291)

On 06/05/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by The Clitshank Redemption (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

#20708003
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49311) - you deserved it (3447)

On 06/05/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my 55 year-old mother faked a pregnancy because she was jealous of all the attention I've been getting since I had my twin boys. FML

#20663345
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42974) - you deserved it (2429)

On 05/14/2013 at 5:35pm - misc - by for the love of god (woman) - United States

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

#20663182
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38606) - you deserved it (3764)

On 05/14/2013 at 4:09pm - health - by DrewK (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML

#20634708
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50241) - you deserved it (3892)

On 05/01/2013 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to go buy diaper rash cream. For myself. FML

#20634292
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33599) - you deserved it (6685)

On 05/01/2013 at 2:40am - health - by ChangMu - United States (Iowa)

Today, from the balcony of my apartment, I watched helplessly as a teen came along and peed through my car's open window. FML

#20634162
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40823) - you deserved it (10480)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:44am - kids - by Sean - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my ten-year-old sister had to write out my job application because no one can read my terrible handwriting. FML

#20628506
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21419) - you deserved it (33858)

On 04/28/2013 at 7:40pm - work - by AbhorrentApplication (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I agreed to go on a date with the creepy guy from my Economics class because I'm so broke that I could really use the free meal. FML

#20628307
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40223) - you deserved it (11293)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:24pm - love - by shameless - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML

#20597317
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31116) - you deserved it (3223)

On 04/16/2013 at 7:13pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML

#20558609
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9326) - you deserved it (82296) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/24/2013 at 7:01pm - animals - by BaliTheDog - France

Today, I gave my son a fork, so I could try teaching him how to eat with one. So far, he's been doing all the teaching. He's taught me that if I get anywhere near him when he has a fork, I'll get shanked. FML

Today, I spent three hours painstakingly installing and configuring some parental control software on my 11-year-old son's laptop after I caught him watching porn. Barely an hour after returning the laptop, I caught him watching yet more porn on it. FML

#20557646
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25996) - you deserved it (9559)

On 03/24/2013 at 6:30am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that my recurring acne is actually bedbug bites. I have wasted about a hundred dollars on acne cream. FML

#20549483
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31355) - you deserved it (6736)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:30pm - health - by thisentiretime... - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML

#20548943
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45060) - you deserved it (13554)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:59am - intimacy - by Susan (woman) - Ireland



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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