About zingline89 : Real estate investor and salesman. If you think something I said was stupid, you most likely failed to sense the sarcasm. Either that or I just said something really stupid.
zingline89's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
zingline89's favorite FMLs
by Ouch / 02/27/2015 at 9:25pm / Hong Kong / Health
Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML
by Anonymous / 01/13/2015 at 8:50pm / United States (Delaware) / Animals
by goingtothegym / 12/08/2013 at 8:16pm / United States (California) / Health
by awkwardpaul / 11/22/2013 at 5:18am / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Love
by UnfortunatelyAmusing / 11/04/2013 at 7:25pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by Ellie / 10/09/2013 at 7:15pm / United States (Kansas) / Work
by Agax / 10/07/2013 at 8:21pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to work at my job as a secretary. I had been given the task to file my boss's collection of Playboy magazines alphabetically by name of the centerfold. There was one for every month from the years of 1980 until now. FML
by Abcporn / 09/25/2013 at 7:22pm / United States (Oregon) / Work
Today, a customer kept harassing me and threatening to sue me for all I'm worth because I wouldn't give her a free refill. Her reasoning was that it's "illegal" to deny people a free refill if there's still a little drink left in the cup. FML
by goshoveafuckingfrappuccinoupyourvagyoupsychocunt / 09/07/2013 at 5:43pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
by /(•'_'•)\ / 09/07/2013 at 12:59pm / United States (Missouri) / Work
by LizzyJones / 08/20/2013 at 1:38pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Love
Today, I had to endure my girlfriend crying and screaming at me. The reason? I'm not able to please her like the fictional character Christian Grey in 50 Shades of Grey. When she left me, she took all her stuff and left me with copies of the 3 books. FML
by Anonymous / 08/20/2013 at 4:06am / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, the doctor told my husband that he is infertile due to slow sperm. As if this is not upsetting enough, my husband blames it on me. According to him, his sperm doesn't get 'aroused' because I'm not sexy enough. FML
by Iamdisappointed / 07/24/2013 at 7:50am / Sweden (Dalarnas Lan) / Intimacy
by theunluckylifeofme / 06/26/2013 at 4:33pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I'm still reeling over the unexpected loss of my co-worker. I also received a notification…