Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

zingline89

Offline (9 hours ago) | Search for a member

zingline89

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 July 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3895
  • Number of comments : 446
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About zingline89 : Real estate investor and salesman. If you think something I said was stupid, you most likely failed to sense the sarcasm. Either that or I just said something really stupid.

zingline89's page activity

Visits<b>maggiefox</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 1:02am<b>mip_92</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 4:03pm<b>lachataigne</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 7:07pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 3:53pm<b>jack_jill05</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 9:57am<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 1:53pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 6:25am<b>Whynotnowandhere</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 1:30pm<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 6:36pm<b>mygirl2906</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 4:16pm<b>alicealiveordead</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 3:09pm<b>Memma</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 2:41pm<b>TheNiceOne</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 10:48pm<b>steveykinz0967</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 9:58pm<b>nineteen99</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 9:25am<b>juststephhere</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 11:23pm<b>insanecutie</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 5:57pm<b>morondon000</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 1:02pm

Liked!<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 4:18pm

zingline89's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of zingline89's badges

zingline89's favorite FMLs

Today, I was accused of shoplifting because my jacket looked "too chunky". I wasn't stealing, I'm just fat. FML

#20985487
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43653) - you deserved it (5940)

On 12/08/2013 at 8:16pm - health - by goingtothegym (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sent a group text round to my friends asking if they wanted to hang out sometime. One of my friends thought this was aimed directly at her and confessed her love for me. FML

#20966629
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41698) - you deserved it (7515)

On 11/22/2013 at 5:18am - love - by awkwardpaul - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I found out that my sex face is definitely amusing after the third girl in a row started laughing at it. FML

#20945549
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42094) - you deserved it (7752)

On 11/04/2013 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by UnfortunatelyAmusing (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I dreamt that I beat someone up for using Comic Sans in a project. Now I can't look at him without being irrationally angry. FML

#20914246
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32509) - you deserved it (6325)

On 10/09/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by Ellie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was playing soccer when a player kicked the ball at my crotch. In pain, I kneeled down. The referee came up to me and whispered, "The smaller they are, the more it hurts." FML

#20911508
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41480) - you deserved it (3589)

On 10/07/2013 at 8:21pm - misc - by Agax (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to work at my job as a secretary. I had been given the task to file my boss's collection of Playboy magazines alphabetically by name of the centerfold. There was one for every month from the years of 1980 until now. FML

#20895973
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35531) - you deserved it (3086)

On 09/25/2013 at 7:22pm - work - by Abcporn (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a customer kept harassing me and threatening to sue me for all I'm worth because I wouldn't give her a free refill. Her reasoning was that it's "illegal" to deny people a free refill if there's still a little drink left in the cup. FML

#20871774
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44027) - you deserved it (3415)

On 09/07/2013 at 5:43pm - work - by goshoveafuckingfrappuccinoupyourvagyoupsychocunt (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while working at Subway, I was about to take a guy's order. He quickly held up a hand and asked for someone else to make his sub, because he doesn't like "ugly people" touching his food. FML

#20871412
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51151) - you deserved it (3425)

On 09/07/2013 at 12:59pm - work - by /(•'_'•)\ (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my husband bought me a present for our three year anniversary. It was a pack of 20 cigarettes. I don't smoke. He does. FML

#20846337
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49871) - you deserved it (8495)

On 08/20/2013 at 1:38pm - love - by LizzyJones - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I had to endure my girlfriend crying and screaming at me. The reason? I'm not able to please her like the fictional character Christian Grey in 50 Shades of Grey. When she left me, she took all her stuff and left me with copies of the 3 books. FML

#20845941
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41066) - you deserved it (3958)

On 08/20/2013 at 4:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my 7-year-old son proudly announced that he had laid an egg during the night. I checked. He'd simply shat the bed. FML

#20835170
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47892) - you deserved it (3787) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/13/2013 at 4:49am - kids - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, the doctor told my husband that he is infertile due to slow sperm. As if this is not upsetting enough, my husband blames it on me. According to him, his sperm doesn't get 'aroused' because I'm not sexy enough. FML

#20800901
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61715) - you deserved it (5374)

On 07/24/2013 at 7:50am - intimacy - by Iamdisappointed (woman) - Sweden (Dalarnas Lan)

Today, while I was working the drive-thru, a couple came through. As I was handing back their change they began giggling. I looked down to see the man's sex-nose fully erect. FML

#20748724
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40940) - you deserved it (4486)

On 06/26/2013 at 4:33pm - intimacy - by theunluckylifeofme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my creepy neighbor paid a guy to install a camera in my bathroom. It's been there for three months. The guy he paid? My brother. FML

#20741960
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52253) - you deserved it (2987)

On 06/23/2013 at 12:37am - misc - by part time all the time - United States (Michigan)

Today, I started playing softball again in a league after not playing for about 5 years. My very first time at the bat I whacked a foul ball into the parking lot and hit my own car. FML

#20724193
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43164) - you deserved it (6131)

On 06/13/2013 at 7:59pm - misc - by Dingbat - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: