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zharris86

Offline (the 09/09/2014 at 12:29am) | Search for a member

zharris86

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  • Number of visits : 1055
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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zharris86's page activity

Visits<b>silverstream20</b> - the 03/03/2013 at 9:56am

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zharris86's favorite FMLs

Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML

#20520875
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27329) - you deserved it (3277)

On 02/24/2013 at 9:57pm - kids - by why the fuck would you do that - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrified, I stopped playing 10 minutes in. Tonight, I kept hearing noises outside. When I peered out through the window, a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shrieked in absolute terror; he burst out laughing. It was my boyfriend. FML

#20520443
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33215) - you deserved it (4970)

On 02/24/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by stillfuckingcrying (woman) - Sweden (Kalmar Lan)

Today, I went sledding with my friends. I said I was tired and didn't want to go, but they press-ganged me into it. I ended up sledding right into a tree, fracturing my leg, and scraping up my entire face. FML

#20520149
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25018) - you deserved it (4773)

On 02/24/2013 at 12:36pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that the "eyelash curling brush" that my best friend found in my old bathroom drawer was actually a stick used for cleaning food out of my sister's braces. I used that thing for years. FML

#20519962
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23496) - you deserved it (12602)

On 02/24/2013 at 9:30am - misc - by curly_eyelashes - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML

#20519764
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31972) - you deserved it (3497)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by cls_x (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my very conservative mom met my girlfriend, who recently shaved her head in support of her best friend, who has cancer. My girlfriend looks beautiful and feminine even with her still very short hair. My mom, however, keeps insisting that I'm dating "a confused transgender". FML

#20519321
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34393) - you deserved it (2240)

On 02/23/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

#20518830
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25322) - you deserved it (43157)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by think i'm dating perdix (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, two days before I'm due to fly out to Russia on my first vacation, I caught my extremely over-protective mother trying to force the family dog to eat my passport. FML

#20518765
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31057) - you deserved it (1956)

On 02/23/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia (Aluksnes)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years decided to tell an unimaginably rude joke to my grandma while at my house. She hit him over the head with a vase, and he's threatening to press charges. I still don't know whose side to take. FML

#20518703
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32154) - you deserved it (4034)

On 02/23/2013 at 11:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, the guy who confessed his love for me also confessed that in his rage, he almost shot the last girl who broke his heart. FML

#20518576
156 comments

Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML

#20518411
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36212) - you deserved it (6148)

On 02/23/2013 at 2:32am - work - by mypelvishurts - United States (California)

Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML

#20518354
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30335) - you deserved it (2974)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:28am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea. With barely any toilet paper left, I texted my husband to buy some more and rush home. He replied, "Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads. Get it? 'Shitfaced'. LOL!" and stopped replying to my desperate pleas. FML

#20517914
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29526) - you deserved it (3437)

On 02/22/2013 at 7:31pm - health - by arse of fire :( (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, after nearly six weeks of seeing a nice girl, we finally decided to make it official. Two hours later, she pulled out a bridal magazine and not-so-casually asked me which wedding location I thought was the nicest. FML

#20517490
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30073) - you deserved it (3775)

On 02/22/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I walked 6 miles to see my girlfriend. After 5 and a half miles, she broke up with me because I never visit her. FML

#20517252
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35115) - you deserved it (3498)

On 02/22/2013 at 5:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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