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zetteymonsterxo

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zetteymonsterxo

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  • Number of visits : 708
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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zetteymonsterxo's favorite FMLs

Today, my six year old nephew told me to peel off my skin because, "They say you look prettier on the inside." FML

#17652059
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28488) - you deserved it (3044)

On 09/03/2011 at 10:36am - kids - by abby181 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I broke my leg while trying to show my friend how I broke my other leg. FML

#17342308
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21717) - you deserved it (66202)

On 08/02/2011 at 10:17am - health - by chinchilla4404 (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

#14512160
460 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68582) - you deserved it (3648)

On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I met my father for the first time since I was a baby. The first comment out of his mouth was, "I bet all the boys love those motherfucking bazongas, don't they?" Hi, Dad. FML

#14396481
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42227) - you deserved it (3255)

On 12/30/2010 at 2:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my parents held an intervention for me. Apparently they think I'm turning into a goth. All because they saw me re-lacing my shoes with black shoelaces instead of white ones. FML

#14204770
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28369) - you deserved it (2642)

On 12/14/2010 at 6:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112626) - you deserved it (15243)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my dog used my stomach as a trampoline to jump onto the couch. I wouldn't have minded so much if I wasn't still recovering from having my appendix removed. FML

#13074561
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30374) - you deserved it (2481)

On 09/16/2010 at 2:50pm - health - by hmb - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41719) - you deserved it (12563)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML

#10652042
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35208) - you deserved it (6925)

On 05/20/2010 at 5:32pm - misc - by fml - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I locked my keys in my car. I was late for work so I went to smash the side window with a big rock. The rock bounced off the window and into my face. FML

#8706906
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9042) - you deserved it (28398)

On 02/28/2010 at 12:36am - work - by chevysprint (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years left me for a guy whose favorite color is camouflage. FML

#8612745
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34834) - you deserved it (4984)

On 02/24/2010 at 10:29am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years left me for a guy whose favorite color is camouflage. FML

#8612745
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34834) - you deserved it (4984)

On 02/24/2010 at 10:29am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I made heart shaped cookies for my girlfriend. My mom's reaction? "They look like dicks." FML

#8268045
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18139) - you deserved it (3553)

On 02/14/2010 at 9:16pm - intimacy - by adam - United States (Illinois)

Today, I made heart shaped cookies for my girlfriend. My mom's reaction? "They look like dicks." FML

#8268045
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18139) - you deserved it (3553)

On 02/14/2010 at 9:16pm - intimacy - by adam - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19385) - you deserved it (4580)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)



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