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zenkuru

Offline (the 11/22/2015 at 10:44pm) | Search for a member

zenkuru

4Fucked!

zenkuruzenkuru
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 29 September 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 728
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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zenkuru's page activity

Visits<b>hexbox117</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 4:32pm<b>hotdude78</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 12:50am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 2:01am<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 1:46pm<b>simon70</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 2:55am<b>PresAgent</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 8:05am<b>theders69</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 5:55am<b>paravoz</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 2:12am<b>M3talJunki3</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 1:15am<b>howlingwolf89</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 12:40am<b>Baucis</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 1:43pm<b>MidgeAlot</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 8:08pm<b>Lars93</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 5:53am<b>XXKatSlashXX</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 9:41pm<b>The_Avatar</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 12:46am<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 4:59am<b>NodakN8V</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 9:11pm<b>ninjakitty254</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 4:04am

Fucked!<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:34pm<b>theders69</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 11:55am<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 11:27am<b>robertd73</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 2:29pm

zenkuru's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of zenkuru's badges

zenkuru's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to grab a large kitchen knife from my son, after I heard him convince his friend to join him in cutting off his finger, so they could "be assassins like Ezio." FML

#21479950
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24985) - you deserved it (2861)

On 10/14/2015 at 10:29am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML

#21477939
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29303) - you deserved it (4137)

On 10/09/2015 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by not impressed (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while having lunch with my grandparents, my grandpa's eyes glazed over, his head fell and he slumped in his chair. I started panicking and almost cried, thinking he was dead. Then he laughed and said "Just kidding. I'm fine." FML

#21477928
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25333) - you deserved it (2492)

On 10/09/2015 at 2:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to choke back tears as my cockslap of a brother brutally mocked me for being a 25-year-old loser who's never been kissed by a girl, while at 14 he's already lost his virginity. FML

#21477811
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29087) - you deserved it (4372)

On 10/09/2015 at 5:06am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, in the middle of a presentation, I fought a shart, but the shart won. FML

#21477505
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24879) - you deserved it (2652)

On 10/08/2015 at 11:10am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that when I was 4 I killed my bunny by drowning it. Apparently, my aunt bribed me to do it because it pooped in her shoes. FML

#21476898
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27106) - you deserved it (2334)

On 10/06/2015 at 6:03pm - animals - by aishyaslife89 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend and I were at his parents' house when things started getting hot. Out of respect, we stopped and just cuddled, making us able to hear his parents banging. FML

#21476414
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28206) - you deserved it (3223)

On 10/05/2015 at 1:10pm - intimacy - by ph2222 - United States (Ohio)

Today, while trying to calm down my four-year-old son who had a tantrum in a store, a man walked up to me and said, "You couldn't have worn the condom?" FML

#21476150
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23001) - you deserved it (5016)

On 10/04/2015 at 7:12pm - kids - by jshsnan - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that spicy ground beef bits are the perfect size to become lodged in one's nasal cavity when vomited back up. FML

Today, I was pushing so hard to take a number two that I ended up passing out. FML

#21475669
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21218) - you deserved it (5014)

On 10/03/2015 at 11:30am - health - by Till We Pass Out - United Kingdom (Calderdale)

Today, at the swimming pool, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up on my 5-year-old daughter underwater and surprise her. I grabbed her by the sides, and she shrieked. A moment later, a brown cloud erupted from her swimsuit. Cue screaming and a mass panic from the other kids. FML

#21475579
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22576) - you deserved it (11675)

On 10/03/2015 at 3:00am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend was shaving his beard in the bathroom when I left. An hour later, I found him exasperated after having shaved half his body. I had to help him shave every nook and cranny left because he said he was in too deep and couldn't turn back. Yes, his bumhole too. FML

#21475547
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24191) - you deserved it (3423)

On 10/03/2015 at 12:00am - misc - by NothowIimaginedmyday (woman) - United States

Today, my parents pranked me hard. They spent breakfast messing with my head, all to convince me that I was dreaming. I got so excited at finally having a lucid dream that I ran outside in my pajamas, yelling "Woo-hoo!" and trying to fly. Nothing happened. People saw. FML

#21475461
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16030) - you deserved it (21847)

On 10/02/2015 at 6:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was sitting outside in a pair of shorts. After about 15 minutes of getting weird looks from people, I realized my cock was sticking out of a hole that wasn't in my shorts when I put them on. FML

#21475308
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21993) - you deserved it (4982)

On 10/02/2015 at 10:22am - misc - by soulaar - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, my friends made a little game out of my OCD. They like to purposely poke one of my arms so I immediately poke the other one. They think it's hilarious and now do it constantly. FML

#21414073
88 comments


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