zenkuru

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Offline (the 11/22/2015 at 10:44pm)

zenkuru

4Fucked!

zenkuruzenkuru
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 29 September 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1075
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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zenkuru's page activity

Visits<b>Mons</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 1:42pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 10:59pm<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 10:21pm<b>TheGamerXYZ</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 10:21pm<b>hexbox117</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 4:32pm<b>hotdude78</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 12:50am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 2:01am<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 1:46pm<b>simon70</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 2:55am<b>PresAgent</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 8:05am<b>theders69</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 5:55am<b>paravoz</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 2:12am<b>M3talJunki3</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 1:15am<b>howlingwolf89</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 12:40am<b>Baucis</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 1:43pm<b>MidgeAlot</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 8:08pm<b>Lars93</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 5:53am<b>XXKatSlashXX</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 9:41pm

Fucked!<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:34pm<b>theders69</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 11:55am<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 11:27am<b>robertd73</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 2:29pm

zenkuru's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of zenkuru's badges

zenkuru's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to grab a large kitchen knife from my son, after I heard him convince his friend to join him in cutting off his finger, so they could "be assassins like Ezio." FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2015 at 10:29am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML

by not impressed / 10/09/2015 at 2:27pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, while having lunch with my grandparents, my grandpa's eyes glazed over, his head fell and he slumped in his chair. I started panicking and almost cried, thinking he was dead. Then he laughed and said "Just kidding. I'm fine." FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2015 at 2:02pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to choke back tears as my cockslap of a brother brutally mocked me for being a 25-year-old loser who's never been kissed by a girl, while at 14 he's already lost his virginity. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2015 at 5:06am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, in the middle of a presentation, I fought a shart, but the shart won. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2015 at 11:10am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I found out that when I was 4 I killed my bunny by drowning it. Apparently, my aunt bribed me to do it because it pooped in her shoes. FML

by aishyaslife89 / 10/06/2015 at 6:03pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend and I were at his parents' house when things started getting hot. Out of respect, we stopped and just cuddled, making us able to hear his parents banging. FML

by ph2222 / 10/05/2015 at 1:10pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, while trying to calm down my four-year-old son who had a tantrum in a store, a man walked up to me and said, "You couldn't have worn the condom?" FML

by jshsnan / 10/04/2015 at 7:12pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I discovered that spicy ground beef bits are the perfect size to become lodged in one's nasal cavity when vomited back up. FML

by steam_engenius / 10/04/2015 at 2:11pm / United States (Nevada) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was pushing so hard to take a number two that I ended up passing out. FML

by Till We Pass Out / 10/03/2015 at 11:30am / United Kingdom (Calderdale) / Health

Today, at the swimming pool, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up on my 5-year-old daughter underwater and surprise her. I grabbed her by the sides, and she shrieked. A moment later, a brown cloud erupted from her swimsuit. Cue screaming and a mass panic from the other kids. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2015 at 3:00am / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend was shaving his beard in the bathroom when I left. An hour later, I found him exasperated after having shaved half his body. I had to help him shave every nook and cranny left because he said he was in too deep and couldn't turn back. Yes, his bumhole too. FML

by NothowIimaginedmyday / 10/03/2015 at 12:00am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents pranked me hard. They spent breakfast messing with my head, all to convince me that I was dreaming. I got so excited at finally having a lucid dream that I ran outside in my pajamas, yelling "Woo-hoo!" and trying to fly. Nothing happened. People saw. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2015 at 6:22pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting outside in a pair of shorts. After about 15 minutes of getting weird looks from people, I realized my cock was sticking out of a hole that wasn't in my shorts when I put them on. FML

by soulaar / 10/02/2015 at 10:22am / Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends made a little game out of my OCD. They like to purposely poke one of my arms so I immediately poke the other one. They think it's hilarious and now do it constantly. FML

by danceinconverse / 05/22/2015 at 4:11pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.