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zenkuru

Offline (the 08/15/2015 at 9:45pm) | Search for a member

zenkuru

4Fucked!

zenkuruzenkuru
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 29 September 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 398
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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zenkuru's page activity

Visits<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 1:46pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 11:34am<b>simon70</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 2:55am<b>PresAgent</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 8:05am<b>theders69</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 5:55am<b>paravoz</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 2:12am<b>M3talJunki3</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 1:15am<b>howlingwolf89</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 12:40am<b>Baucis</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 1:43pm<b>MidgeAlot</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 8:08pm<b>Lars93</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 5:53am<b>XXKatSlashXX</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 9:41pm<b>The_Avatar</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 12:46am<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 4:59am<b>NodakN8V</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 9:11pm<b>ninjakitty254</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 4:04am<b>robertd73</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 12:20am<b>xwingtwo</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 4:31am

Fucked!<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:34pm<b>theders69</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 11:55am<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 11:27am<b>robertd73</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 2:29pm

zenkuru's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of zenkuru's badges

zenkuru's favorite FMLs

Today, my friends made a little game out of my OCD. They like to purposely poke one of my arms so I immediately poke the other one. They think it's hilarious and now do it constantly. FML

#21414073
89 comments

Today, my girlfriend of a week showed me her talent: shooting milk out of her vagina across the room. Goodbye dairy products. FML

#21413854
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30337) - you deserved it (3851)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:55am - intimacy - by zzarzzur (man) - United States (California)

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML

#21409928
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32642) - you deserved it (7090)

On 05/14/2015 at 8:42am - work - by HiddlePuff - Australia

Today, I had to say to my 23-year-old son that it's not a compliment to tell a woman that he wants to jam his cock down her throat. FML

#21405973
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34382) - you deserved it (5141)

On 05/06/2015 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by dadoftheyear (man) - United States

Today, while riding the subway a homeless man got on asking for money. I went to give him a dollar but he refused because I was "of the Asian persuasion." FML

#21404625
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26716) - you deserved it (2074)

On 05/04/2015 at 5:02pm - misc - by Malíya - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I asked the man of my dreams out on a date. His response: "I'd rather eat my own balls." FML

#21399850
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33780) - you deserved it (3410)

On 04/26/2015 at 4:19am - love - by fuck you (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, while cleaning my desk I found a stray gumball. I quickly popped it into my mouth only to discover with horror that it was a paintball. FML

#21394264
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17180) - you deserved it (33576)

On 04/15/2015 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out just how much my dog likes ice-cream when she tackled a little girl at a park for hers. FML

Today, I was in a public restroom taking a poop and as I started unrolling the toilet paper, the whole roll fell off the handle and rolled out underneath the cubicle door. I heard somebody laugh at me. Nobody helped. FML

#21383475
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29107) - you deserved it (2553)

On 03/29/2015 at 8:49am - misc - by ToiletRoll - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my school had to make an official announcement that students were not permitted to go home due to Zayn Malik leaving One Direction because so many girls were claiming they couldn't focus on school with such a dramatic event occurring. FML

#21381783
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39265) - you deserved it (3380)

On 03/26/2015 at 9:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

#21379710
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34061) - you deserved it (6992)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States

Today, I took the biggest, most excruciatingly painful crap of my life. It was so bad that I couldn't walk straight for a good 20 minutes afterwards. Long enough for my boyfriend to film me limping around and post the clip to Facebook with the caption "#anal ftw ;)". FML

#21379420
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30016) - you deserved it (3542)

On 03/22/2015 at 10:59am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was helping out during the school play's interval. My head of year jokingly asked me to follow him around with these mini cocktail sausages for the rest of the school year. I thought it would be witty to reply, "Does that make me your official sausage holder?" FML

#21378332
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25056) - you deserved it (87)

On 03/20/2015 at 10:41am - love - by MirandaJones (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while working at McDonald's, a guy asked me to deep fry his salad. FML

#21376328
105 comments

Today, I got a haircut. The guy quickly cut off most of the hair above my forehead. When I angrily asked him what he was doing, he said, "Quitting." FML

#21369589
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36038) - you deserved it (2323)

On 03/06/2015 at 10:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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