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zelious

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zelious

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  • Number of visits : 229
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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zelious's page activity

Visits<b>MasqueradePrince</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 10:20pm

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zelious's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm babysitting two 6 year old kids. One of them won't stop screaming, and the other kid found his mom's vibrator and won't stop playing spaceship with it. The parents will be home in an hour. FML

#21157917
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40483) - you deserved it (4914)

On 05/31/2014 at 2:40am - kids - by moomanjohnny - United States (California)

Today, my 15-year-old son got so enraged at a fly that kept harassing him, that he ended up slapping himself in the face as it flew by him. This caused him to fall out of his chair, at which point he broke down into a mess of tears, humiliating me in front of everyone. FML

#21157319
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41400) - you deserved it (9632)

On 05/30/2014 at 4:37pm - kids - by get a grip, son (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my neighbor threatened to call the cops if I didn't turn the volume down on my porno. I was only watching women's tennis. FML

#21157299
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41381) - you deserved it (4752)

On 05/30/2014 at 4:07pm - misc - by Mem (woman) - Sweden (Gavleborgs Lan)

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

#21147237
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46949) - you deserved it (4025)

On 05/21/2014 at 12:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my boss told our production department that we're not allowed to be happy. FML

#21129081
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38130) - you deserved it (3199)

On 05/02/2014 at 8:03pm - work - by i guess (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I didn't pay enough attention while sending a music file to be used in a powerful video my class-mates and I made about the Syrian civil war. Instead of a moving classical track, viewers were shown graphic scenes of devastation to the tune of Gangnam Style. FML

#21128082
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23647) - you deserved it (34239)

On 05/01/2014 at 4:10pm - work - by Mortifiedcharityworker (woman) - Austria

Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend, who was driving down the highway with the windows down. All of a sudden, everything went black. A cattle truck had sped past, and I had been hit by cow faeces travelling at 110km an hour. My boyfriend was hysterical. None of it hit him. FML

#21127873
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48561) - you deserved it (4415)

On 05/01/2014 at 10:17am - animals - by Felicityfrank (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML

#21127339
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39466) - you deserved it (4975)

On 04/30/2014 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was changing the garbage at a local fast food place where I work. Being a rather short guy, I had to lean back and fling the full, heavy bag at the top. I did so with such force that my head hit the dumpster, knocking me out. FML

#21126821
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35159) - you deserved it (4642)

On 04/30/2014 at 12:20am - work - by KO - United States

Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML

#21124338
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43174) - you deserved it (6042)

On 04/27/2014 at 1:25pm - love - by Shit (man) - United States (California)

Today, my teenage daughter tried to convince me that the UK is a part of Canada. After I pulled out a map to prove her wrong, she got all angry and defensive, and said that nobody's perfect at "geometry". My daughter is an idiot. FML

#21122867
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49699) - you deserved it (9941)

On 04/25/2014 at 5:21pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51053) - you deserved it (4482)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, after ten years, our sewing machine broke. My mom tried to return it back to the store she bought it from. FML

#21115731
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37679) - you deserved it (3665)

On 04/17/2014 at 7:24pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55805) - you deserved it (7038)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML

#21108567
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39142) - you deserved it (5414)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by Max - United States



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