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zelife

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zelife

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 62
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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zelife's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of zelife's badges

zelife's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to babysit both my neighbor's 3-year-old daughter and my very pregnant cat. I left the room briefly, only to come back to a traumatized 3-year-old crying in horror as my cat gave birth in front of her. FML

#21303819
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28150) - you deserved it (3347)

On 11/22/2014 at 10:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, in astronomy class, a kid used Uranus in a hilarious innuendo. I was the only one who laughed. I also happen to be the teacher. FML

#21260699
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33527) - you deserved it (5693)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:20pm - misc - by immature - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, my girlfriend admitted that she "probably wasn't even sober" when I asked her out and she said yes. Our almost 2-year relationship is the longest drunken mistake ever. FML

#21260142
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33136) - you deserved it (2805)

On 09/17/2014 at 5:22pm - love - by KayEffEh (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

#21255419
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42019) - you deserved it (11695)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I hid my parents' booze since I'd always thought their shitty behavior was due to drinking too much. Turns out they're just assholes. FML

#20756642
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51088) - you deserved it (8456)

On 06/30/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by Acidic Donut - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55117) - you deserved it (64233)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
403 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37270) - you deserved it (4007)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

#19623439
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37987) - you deserved it (3970) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm - misc - by lafinesse (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

#18374141
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29442) - you deserved it (8734)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:34am - misc - by Dani - Reserved

Today, I went to my gyn to see what a painful lump is under my armpit. Turns out it's breast tissue, and yes, it will fill up with milk when I'm pregnant. I essentially have three boobs. FML

#17743862
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35145) - you deserved it (2426)

On 09/14/2011 at 12:34pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML

#17375446
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48144) - you deserved it (2394)

On 08/05/2011 at 4:41am - misc - by thehumanshield - United States (California)

Today, my Dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "mom". I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me something "nice". FML

#16293589
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73370) - you deserved it (3784)

On 05/22/2011 at 5:31am - misc - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37194) - you deserved it (31513)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37194) - you deserved it (31513)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

#9416886
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48973) - you deserved it (9611)

On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)



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