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zeldagirl77

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zeldagirl77

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 178
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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zeldagirl77's page activity

Visits<b>it__happens</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 3:28am<b>Infamous278</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 1:43am<b>Mons</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 11:58pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 3:10pm<b>evalili</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 1:32pm<b>SwagBasket</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 3:18pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 12:14pm<b>shankypotato</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 10:16am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 8:56am<b>weeyin12</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 11:05am<b>classychild</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 6:12pm<b>liketenpandas</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 3:49pm<b>bbambastic</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 6:59am<b>sierraleeannee</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 4:01pm<b>nela25</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 3:16pm<b>ButterflyHaze</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 3:06pm<b>aruam365</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 2:57pm<b>Helldemon</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 2:26pm

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zeldagirl77's favorite FMLs

Today, I nervously flirted with a very cute guy. Being a little overweight, I rarely think cute guys will go for me. This line of thinking was yet again correct when he casually pulled his sleeve up revealing a tattoo of a pinup girl with a "NO FAT CHICKS" sign below it. FML

#21138042
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55820) - you deserved it (7138)

On 05/12/2014 at 7:49pm - love - by nofatchicks (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52097) - you deserved it (19048)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my non-English-speaking grandma bought me a new t-shirt. It would've been sweet if it didn't have the word "bondage" written on the back in pretty, bold letters. I had no choice but to wear it while we went shopping. FML

#21094283
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33840) - you deserved it (3253)

On 03/23/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - Egypt

Today, my dad took me to a bar for my first legal drink. He quickly got "drunk" and started slurring that I was an accident, saying the only reason I'm alive is because he'd been too poor to pay for an abortion. As I started crying, he burst out laughing and said soberly, "Just kidding, son." FML

#21092859
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44111) - you deserved it (5762)

On 03/21/2014 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML

#21068594
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41937) - you deserved it (3938)

On 02/22/2014 at 4:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

#21041278
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41468) - you deserved it (12508)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML

#21031998
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34919) - you deserved it (56852)

On 01/18/2014 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She asked if the ring was a temporary thing until I got a better one, saw my dumbfounded face, then played it off as a joke and said yes. I later found out she'd posted on Facebook bitching about the ring, but with the privacy setting set to hide it from me. FML

#20975896
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54761) - you deserved it (4950)

On 11/30/2013 at 3:29pm - love - by fuckface? I wish (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML

#20957459
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41187) - you deserved it (4434)

On 11/14/2013 at 11:44am - misc - by CallmeEddie - United States (Illinois)

Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML

#20950555
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42858) - you deserved it (7987)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:02pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope, and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

#20949272
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51196) - you deserved it (5316)

On 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Derry)

Today, my 8-year-old came home from school crying. Apparently her teacher told the whole class to write about how they felt when they learned that Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy weren't real. FML

#20942077
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52900) - you deserved it (5244)

On 11/02/2013 at 12:19am - kids - by SantaClaus - United States (California)

Today, I had a customer scream at me for ruining their child's birthday party. They had bought a Piñata from me and didn't know they had to fill it themselves. The kids had hit it open and it was empty. FML

#20809207
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48870) - you deserved it (3992)

On 07/29/2013 at 2:30am - work - by Fitz - United States

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11241) - you deserved it (37806)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

#19949637
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11440) - you deserved it (39286)

On 07/17/2012 at 11:32am - intimacy - by tuggernuts (man) - United States



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