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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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zebra_pillow

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zebra_pillow
  • Town/Country : Glendale, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 29 July 1991 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 905
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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zebra_pillow's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally felt ready to take my bra off during sex. My breasts had "deflated" somewhat due to weight loss and I was really self-conscious about them, but my boyfriend insisted I was hot no matter what. When the bra came off, the dick got soft. FML

#8793926 (199)

I agree, your life sucks (20233) - you deserved it (2173)

On 03/03/2010 at 4:24am - intimacy - by victoriassecret - United States

Today, I was talking to my best friend about a cute guy that girls are afraid to even speak to, so I then decided to march right up to him and say hello. When he smiled at me, I stood there with my mouth wide open, but I made non-coherent words. He asked me if I was a foreign exchange student. FML

#8784416 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (5013) - you deserved it (15710)

On 03/02/2010 at 9:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to explain to my 14-year-old sister why one must not wear the same pair of underwear for a week. FML

#8754431 (216)

I agree, your life sucks (17913) - you deserved it (1235)

On 03/01/2010 at 7:14pm - health - by :( - United Kingdom (Blackpool)

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188 (453)

I agree, your life sucks (33671) - you deserved it (6914)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was on the city bus, and there was a woman and her child sitting behind me. I began to feel tugging on my jacket so I leaned forward, assuming the child was pulling at my jacket. I sat back and felt the tugging again. After a couple of minutes, I heard the mother say "stop chewing on that!" FML

#8746322 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (16881) - you deserved it (1539)

On 03/01/2010 at 11:59am - kids - by nd.11 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML

#8742333 (298)

I agree, your life sucks (6543) - you deserved it (25421)

On 03/01/2010 at 4:13am - animals - by ItHurtsLIkeHell (man) - Malaysia (Pulau Pinang)

Today, I had just finished riding my bike when I ran into the girl I am secretly in love with. While I walked over to her I got an erection through my spandex biking shorts. FML

#8730305 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (13036) - you deserved it (6661)

On 02/28/2010 at 9:15pm - intimacy - by hornyloser770 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to the physician to check my rear because it was hurting. My usual doctor wasn't available, so he was replaced by a gorgeous woman with big cleavage. when she asked me to pull down my pants, she saw that I had a huge hard on. FML

#8726872 (253)

I agree, your life sucks (8214) - you deserved it (9261)

On 02/28/2010 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Joel_28 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML

#8719561 (490)

I agree, your life sucks (4712) - you deserved it (36910)

On 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, thanks to my brilliant hairstylist, I ended up with a brand new haircut, which I like to call the "Bowler hat-and-Spaghetti" cut. FML

#8719184 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (13658) - you deserved it (1905)

On 02/28/2010 at 2:00pm - misc - by AtikaSucks (woman) - Tunisia

Today, I had to walk through the blistering snow, because my boss needed something really important: cream cheese. FML

#8715488 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (16372) - you deserved it (1697)

On 02/28/2010 at 11:00am - work - by Renesmeekuhnell (woman) - Denmark (Arhus)

Today, I went skinny dipping with a few friends at my friend's house. It was really fun until one of my friends shrieked, saying there were bugs in the pool. Everyone jumped out and looked at her. Turns out the "bugs" she saw was my body hair. FML

#8708585 (135)

I agree, your life sucks (14101) - you deserved it (4195)

On 02/28/2010 at 1:31am - health - by annonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, my hamster went missing. I walked down the stairs into my basement, to find my hamster's head on the stairs, and its body in my cat's mouth. FML

#8705777 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (19468) - you deserved it (2480)

On 02/28/2010 at 12:00am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I discovered that my abusive, obsessive, psychotic ex-boyfriend from over two years ago still has a thing for me. How did I find out? Although I've ignored him walking unnecessarily past my house for the past two months, it was hard to ignore when he fell from a tree outside my window. FML

#8704782 (229)

I agree, your life sucks (25780) - you deserved it (1565)

On 02/27/2010 at 11:30pm - love - by sacrophage (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the alter while my husband said his vows. FML

#8658648 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (41583) - you deserved it (1802)

On 02/26/2010 at 5:23am - love - by pain (woman) - Japan