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zeb82005

Offline (the 11/15/2015 at 6:41am) | Search for a member

zeb82005

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 26 December 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2221
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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zeb82005's page activity

Visits<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 4:33pm

zeb82005's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of zeb82005's badges

zeb82005's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my girlfriend's father that I wanted to talk about his daughter. I then went on to tell him I was thinking about 'popping the cherry', instead of 'popping the question'. FML

#7883509
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23301) - you deserved it (12968)

On 02/04/2010 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by stoopidpoop (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after waiting to get home to go to the bathroom, my six year old neighbor popped out and literally scared the shit out of me. FML

#7842488
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30058) - you deserved it (3561)

On 02/03/2010 at 8:48am - health - by Scaredshitless - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he has "commitment issues". He said he "cared" for me but didn't "love" me. He did this 30 minutes after we'd hooked up and said we loved each other. FML

#7669897
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19853) - you deserved it (4733)

On 01/29/2010 at 9:14am - intimacy - by rejected (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that the reason I don't want to stay overnight at his house is because I still occasionally wet the bed. FML

#7614301
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40175) - you deserved it (7972)

On 01/27/2010 at 3:33pm - health - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized that my ex-girlfriend has gone further with a girl than I have. FML

#7608615
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24804) - you deserved it (5018)

On 01/27/2010 at 6:55am - intimacy - by Patrick - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML

#7493708
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30499) - you deserved it (5536)

On 01/22/2010 at 3:11am - kids - by jazz - Sent from mobile version

Today, my friend decided it was funny to burp in my face. The burp was actually vomit. We were in the food court at the mall. FML

#7395269
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32236) - you deserved it (2576)

On 01/17/2010 at 8:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML

#7330766
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25152) - you deserved it (4324)

On 01/13/2010 at 11:27pm - love - by meow (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I walked in on my parents necking in the living room. I promptly covered my eyes and muttered something about my innocence being stolen from me. My dad looked up from the couch, and mentioned that he had heard my innocence being stolen by Jake, my boyfriend from 2 years ago. FML

#7287898
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9492) - you deserved it (38547)

On 01/11/2010 at 9:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up at 3am because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML

#7286498
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30033) - you deserved it (2920)

On 01/11/2010 at 8:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML

#7084392
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29525) - you deserved it (3732)

On 01/01/2010 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by Lovergirl (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

 Today, while I was trying to get to sleep, I heard a strange noise coming from the bunk bed above mine. I looked up to see what it was and my cat vomited over the edge, onto my face. FML

#7078768
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29936) - you deserved it (3255)

On 01/01/2010 at 8:03am - animals - by grosssss (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML

#7059042
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41666) - you deserved it (18973)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by pottypattypeepants (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a blind date. When I arrived at our meeting place, I spotted my date, because he was the only one in the bar wearing a nametag. I walked up to him and asked, "Are you John?" He responded, "That depends. Are you Jen?" When I said yes he said, "Then no," and left. FML

#7056556
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38400) - you deserved it (3682)

On 12/31/2009 at 12:33pm - love - by lifesux (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

#7050962
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9627) - you deserved it (62035)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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