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zeb82005's favorite FMLs
by stoopidpoop / 02/04/2010 at 7:29pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by rejected / 01/29/2010 at 9:14am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by anonymous / 01/27/2010 at 3:33pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
by Patrick / 01/27/2010 at 6:55am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/17/2010 at 8:44am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by meow / 01/13/2010 at 11:27pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Love
Today, I walked in on my parents necking in the living room. I promptly covered my eyes and muttered something about my innocence being stolen from me. My dad looked up from the couch, and mentioned that he had heard my innocence being stolen by Jake, my boyfriend from 2 years ago. FML
by Anonymous / 01/11/2010 at 9:25pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up at 3am because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML
by Anonymous / 01/11/2010 at 8:40pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML
by Lovergirl / 01/01/2010 at 3:23pm / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy
by grosssss / 01/01/2010 at 8:03am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
by pottypattypeepants / 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I had a blind date. When I arrived at our meeting place, I spotted my date, because he was the only one in the bar wearing a nametag. I walked up to him and asked, "Are you John?" He responded, "That depends. Are you Jen?" When I said yes he said, "Then no," and left. FML
by lifesux / 12/31/2009 at 12:33pm / United States (New York) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/31/2009 at 3:06am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…