Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

zeb82005

Offline (the 07/13/2015 at 9:35pm) | Search for a member

zeb82005

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 26 December 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2016
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

zeb82005's page activity

Visits<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 6:26am

zeb82005's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of zeb82005's badges

zeb82005's favorite FMLs

Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML

#7493708
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29571) - you deserved it (5426)

On 01/22/2010 at 3:11am - kids - by jazz - Sent from mobile version

Today, my friend decided it was funny to burp in my face. The burp was actually vomit. We were in the food court at the mall. FML

#7395269
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29851) - you deserved it (2396)

On 01/17/2010 at 8:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML

#7330766
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23065) - you deserved it (4078)

On 01/13/2010 at 11:27pm - love - by meow (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I walked in on my parents necking in the living room. I promptly covered my eyes and muttered something about my innocence being stolen from me. My dad looked up from the couch, and mentioned that he had heard my innocence being stolen by Jake, my boyfriend from 2 years ago. FML

#7287898
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8496) - you deserved it (35996)

On 01/11/2010 at 9:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up at 3am because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML

#7286498
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26716) - you deserved it (2650)

On 01/11/2010 at 8:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML

#7084392
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28597) - you deserved it (3665)

On 01/01/2010 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by Lovergirl (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

 Today, while I was trying to get to sleep, I heard a strange noise coming from the bunk bed above mine. I looked up to see what it was and my cat vomited over the edge, onto my face. FML

#7078768
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29136) - you deserved it (3190)

On 01/01/2010 at 8:03am - animals - by grosssss (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML

#7059042
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40639) - you deserved it (18624)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by pottypattypeepants (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a blind date. When I arrived at our meeting place, I spotted my date, because he was the only one in the bar wearing a nametag. I walked up to him and asked, "Are you John?" He responded, "That depends. Are you Jen?" When I said yes he said, "Then no," and left. FML

#7056556
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35242) - you deserved it (3433)

On 12/31/2009 at 12:33pm - love - by lifesux (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

#7050962
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9250) - you deserved it (60768)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

#7050962
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9250) - you deserved it (60768)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while my boyfriend was sleeping, I got naked and sat on top of him. He woke up and I asked him if he would rather stay awake or go back to sleep, in hopes that he would stay awake and want to do some naughty stuff with me. His response? To grab my butt, and then go back to sleep. FML

#6860527
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10594) - you deserved it (17791)

On 12/21/2009 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was studying for one of my finals that I had later in the week but decided to take a break and play around with my boyfriend in bed for a couple hours. We decided to 69 for the first time, and everything was going great until out of nowhere, I loudly farted in his face. FML

#6753336
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25601) - you deserved it (10078)

On 12/14/2009 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Gassy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML

#6731924
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6758) - you deserved it (48483)

On 12/13/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by eggnoodles (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my friend and I got really drunk at the holiday staff party. When I went to work afterwards, everyone gave me the death stare. Apparently, I got so drunk that I flashed my boss' 13 year old son. FML

#6724461
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7322) - you deserved it (46563)

On 12/12/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by ash203 - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: