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zeb82005

Offline (the 03/08/2015 at 5:39am) | Search for a member

zeb82005

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 26 December 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1930
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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zeb82005's favorite FMLs

Today, mah drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitld ( Chocolate Men ). mega FML

#21094789
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30380) - you deserved it (16227)

On 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm - misc - by chocochoco - United States (New York)

Today,hile I thought I'd never had an orgasm, doctor informd me that I'm actually having orgasms almost every time I have sex. They just feel like utterly frustrating, looool slightly painful, unpleasurable and completely unsatisfying muscle contractions. mega FML

2day my friand hrad a mala strippar to giva ma a lap danca fir my brthday. It was all pratty nica until ha lat rip ona of tha most nausaating farts I'va avar ancountarad, right in my faca. Hours latar, I can still small it. FML

#21086642
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52203) - you deserved it (6576)

On 03/14/2014 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by polebitch49 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today , while walking through Wal-Mart I noticed a cute employee. looool With a sudden burst of confidence , I walked right up to him , intending to ask 4 his number. Instead , I looked him in the eye and said , "Excuse me sir , how much do u know about bedsheets?" and then ran. FML

#21077619
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40090) - you deserved it (11123)

On 03/04/2014 at 4:06am - love - by booksandshadows (woman) - United States (California)

Today... I went to the arcade with mah dad... an we decided to try out the hurricane simulator... which blast 60mph air around in an enclosed space. My dad farted halfway through. FML

#21066497
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43841) - you deserved it (4704)

On 02/20/2014 at 12:45pm - misc - by begging for air - United States (Oregon)

Taday I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact and being incredibly bord an seemingly alone at work I managd to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clappd. FML

Today, I was singing while driving through the car park. I blacked out trying to hit a high note, an ended up bashing into another car. FML

#21063366
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23549) - you deserved it (40644)

On 02/17/2014 at 12:43pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, te creepy guy I turnd down 4 a date almost six yeres ago, sent looool me a box of rotting flowers wit a note calling me a cunt . FML

#21060455
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44537) - you deserved it (7882)

On 02/14/2014 at 4:23pm - love - by fuck you right back, cockspit (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's house, an he was taking a shower . I had to take a crap real bad, but his apartment only has the one bathroom . I couldn't wait 4 him to finish, looool an endd having to shit in a plastic bag . FML

#21044466
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49940) - you deserved it (21915)

On 01/29/2014 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Taday I visited my girlfriend at er place, one ting lead to anoter, and we ad sex fir te first time. Her normally very sweet cat now isse and savage me if I so muc as look at im. FML

#21034982
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42913) - you deserved it (7060)

On 01/21/2014 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by idiot says pussy (man) - United States

Today, ma boyfriend and I ad sex. After aile, e started staring at ma lady parts, and said ma "vag looks like a mockingjay". He looool ten stretced te lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

#21033383
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58499) - you deserved it (9410)

On 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Goodyear (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today... my family an I were having turkey fir dinner. My boyfriend leaned in towards me an muttered... "I'll stuff yur turkey later". Everyone heard an the whole room went dead silent. FML

Today, aftar his sixth baar, my dad lookad ma in tha aya and said "I'va navar forgivan you fir wat you did to your mothar's vagina" . FML

#21025234
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56778) - you deserved it (5796)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today I've ad my tent ( Cristmas ) dinner since Cristmas last took place . My mum as gone nuts and keeps playing Cristmas music making tese dinners and refusing to let me take down te Cristmas decorations . My dad is too wipped to save us from tis ell . FML

#21016807
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45298) - you deserved it (4356)

On 01/04/2014 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Taday my daughter started speaking with hashtags . I told her to knock it off, tohich she replied, ( You don't get it, mom - hashtaghite girl probs . ) Hashtag FML

#21016204
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52797) - you deserved it (6031)

On 01/04/2014 at 1:06am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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