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zeb82005

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zeb82005

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 26 December 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1846
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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zeb82005's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents had a loud argument over who is worse in bed. FML

#21320583
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21456) - you deserved it (1539)

On 12/19/2014 at 10:16pm - misc - by cantunhear - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend tried to convince me that she didn't "technically" cheat on me, because the other guy came on her and not inside her. FML

#21320297
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26678) - you deserved it (2061)

On 12/19/2014 at 11:16am - love - by "technically" my ex-girlfriend - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I took a crap. When I stood up to admire my handiwork and flush, I noticed blood-red everywhere in the toilet. I freaked out like a little girl, thinking I was bleeding out of my ass. Then I noticed the ketchup packets my roommate had slipped under the seat to prank me. FML

#21319149
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26936) - you deserved it (5206)

On 12/17/2014 at 1:47pm - misc - by RIP Turd (peacebeuponit) (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I asked my spouse to help me apply some hemorrhoid relief cream, since I couldn't see what was going on down there clearly. Next time, I hope I'll remember if I'm still in a conference call with my online classmates so they don't witness the whole thing again. FML

Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML

#21312925
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29573) - you deserved it (5875)

On 12/07/2014 at 1:15am - misc - by Gassy and sassy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML

#21310827
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35251) - you deserved it (3200)

On 12/03/2014 at 4:21pm - work - by WTF - United States (Texas)

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for several moments stunned, still pooping. FML

#21308801
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32670) - you deserved it (4221)

On 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by pooplife - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, while walking home with my mom, some unoriginal cockshart in a passing car yelled at me: "Fuck her in the pussy!" It was a long, awkward walk home after that. FML

#21308349
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28780) - you deserved it (2483)

On 11/29/2014 at 8:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a dirty picture to turn him on. He texted back: "Jfc, why wud u tease me like that?? Srsly fuck off". FML

#21308108
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27926) - you deserved it (5790)

On 11/29/2014 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by come on man (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while at work, I really had to pee. Since my break was soon, I decided to hold it as another customer came to my till, but I didn't see she had 3 trolleys full of food. It took ages to scan all of it, and when I left for my break, I had an empty bladder and a wet seat. FML

#21307515
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31578) - you deserved it (6725)

On 11/28/2014 at 12:27pm - work - by I'm so wet, baby - United Kingdom

Today, it was my turn to open the bar I work at. As I walked into our terrace, I found our insane upstairs neighbour leaving the scene without a word. This was right before I spotted the steaming pile of dung she'd left behind. FML

#21306439
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26225) - you deserved it (1835)

On 11/26/2014 at 9:04pm - work - by caterinette - Portugal

Today, my grandpa came into my room and asked for a pen. As I gave it to him, he let rip the foulest fart I've ever smelled in my life, and walked out without a word. 2 hours later, the smell is not only still there, it's filled the room. Looks like I'm sleeping downstairs on the couch tonight. FML

#21304373
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28430) - you deserved it (2522)

On 11/23/2014 at 7:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my husband to tell me something nice about myself. He thought for a few moments, then said, "Uh, you shit quietly." FML

#21239720
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34184) - you deserved it (5688)

On 08/17/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by ugh thanks - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40945) - you deserved it (25782)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, despite all of the empty seats on the bus, a man sat next to me. So close to me that our legs touched. After a few moments of silence, he got closer and whispered in my ear, "You're so quiet." FML



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