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zckrylogan

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zckrylogan

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Visits<b>thatchick1405</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 1:51am<b>ScottVining</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 9:08pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 9:53pm<b>jmann8811</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 12:27am

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50 favourites

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zckrylogan's favorite FMLs

Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML

#21267969
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17879) - you deserved it (26683)

On 09/29/2014 at 10:13pm - misc - by KasSmoke - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49095) - you deserved it (21224)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

#21147237
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46958) - you deserved it (4026)

On 05/21/2014 at 12:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella, it's never a good idea to deep-throat the knife. FML

#21073034
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17253) - you deserved it (54849)

On 02/27/2014 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

#21067130
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49037) - you deserved it (3950)

On 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm - misc - by BakedBat (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML

#21057121
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47526) - you deserved it (8043)

On 02/11/2014 at 11:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

#21046533
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55514) - you deserved it (6164) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm - intimacy - by prochainefois (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML

#21031998
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34814) - you deserved it (56720)

On 01/18/2014 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56036) - you deserved it (5631)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I realised after showering that I didn't have a towel, so I thought I would risk a naked dash to my brother's room to steal one of his. He and his friend were in the room and both agreed that I needed a "trim". FML

#21019082
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48923) - you deserved it (20279)

On 01/06/2014 at 1:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - South Africa

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a long poem that ended with, "Please don't get another mister / I regret I screwed your sister". FML

#21014860
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50823) - you deserved it (4179)

On 01/02/2014 at 10:50pm - love - by notakeeper - United States (Florida)

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I tried to time my ejaculation to happen right as the new year started. FML

#21012409
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47752) - you deserved it (11202)

On 01/01/2014 at 1:41am - intimacy - by Lonesome (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I tried to prove to my girlfriend how much I've matured and that our relationship comes before anything else in my life. So I went to delete my character in World of Warcraft. I tried to confirm it, but I couldn't, breaking down in tears instead. FML

#21010392
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34701) - you deserved it (28010)

On 12/30/2013 at 12:20pm - love - by Anonymous - United States



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