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zaylazayn

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zaylazayn
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 January 1998 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 117
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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zaylazayn's favorite FMLs

Today, it's my birthday. My family put a bouquet of balloons outside my room for me to find when I woke up. I walked out of my room, saw the balloons, screamed, and fell down the stairs. FML

#20587655
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37959) - you deserved it (21819)

On 04/13/2013 at 5:21am - misc - by really? - United States

Today, I spent three hours painstakingly installing and configuring some parental control software on my 11-year-old son's laptop after I caught him watching porn. Barely an hour after returning the laptop, I caught him watching yet more porn on it. FML

#20557646
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26000) - you deserved it (9560)

On 03/24/2013 at 6:30am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

#20556205
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38495) - you deserved it (2838)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML

#20541069
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29137) - you deserved it (3186)

On 03/12/2013 at 6:43pm - kids - by um... maybe (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. I also found out that her sister is an MMA fighter. She put me in an extremely strong chokehold until I took the break-up back. FML

#20530332
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31799) - you deserved it (4524)

On 03/03/2013 at 11:47pm - love - by she also gave me a wedgie (man) - United States (California)

Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML

#20525332
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14930) - you deserved it (32531)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:57am - love - by notapervert - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to be sexy and change in front of my boyfriend. As I was changing, he started to talk to me about how we should both try and lose weight. FML

#20523139
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30660) - you deserved it (6906)

On 02/26/2013 at 3:26pm - love - by pooh anne (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my friend showed me a video of me in a nightclub. I was holding two Skittles vodka shots and shouting, "Red and green, merry Kwanzaa!" The shots were yellow and purple. I can't remember that night at all. FML

Today, when I was ordering pizza, I got a text from my mom saying "I love you". When the man thanked me I accidentally said, "I love you too." FML

#19719938
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20266) - you deserved it (4426)

On 06/02/2012 at 8:47am - misc - by lol112 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I twisted my ankle during a round of golf, after trying to do a fancy jumping high five. FML

#19327159
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6029) - you deserved it (18835)

On 03/22/2012 at 4:17pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out how painful it is when your ceiling fan falls on you. FML

#17337129
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27807) - you deserved it (2070)

On 08/01/2011 at 10:46pm - misc - by Username - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was on Facebook chat with my boss, talking about holiday hours. I had to go to my doctor's appointment, so I said, "G2G, love you" accidentally. Not only did he say it back, but he also requested a relationship with me on Facebook. FML

#6883873
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24213) - you deserved it (9025)

On 12/22/2009 at 1:05pm - work - by ohshat (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I got a free temporary tattoo of a scorpion in a packet of potato chips and decided to wear it on my wrist. Whilst I was in the shower, I got a shock, thinking it was a spider. I then lost balance and slipped, banging my head on the faucet. FML

#6050280
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9132) - you deserved it (36814)

On 10/29/2009 at 1:15am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML

Today, I forgot to take my wallet off the roof of my car and drove away, onto the highway. A man behind me began flashing his lights and waving his arms. I thought he was freaking out because I cut him off. I flipped him off. He was trying to tell me that all my money was flying down the road. FML

#1047617
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6621) - you deserved it (71344)

On 04/17/2009 at 2:12am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



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