Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

zawesomee

Search for a member

zawesomee
  • Town/Country : Oslo, Norway
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 19 July 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 141
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About zawesomee : I like cats.

zawesomee's last visitors

the_rude_dudeGunnieAlexRenBlack_Knight80hugozac88Food2AbsCallilahrkdstp1995WizzleMan17Jeeper4Lifejonnyscash

zawesomee's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of zawesomee's badges

zawesomee's favorite FMLs

Today, after recently complaining that the reality show "The Great Norway Adventure" portrays us as a country of nationalistic rednecks, I saw my drunk dad chasing my uncle on a tractor while bellowing the national anthem at the top of his lungs. FML

#20926483
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40365) - you deserved it (4100)

On 10/19/2013 at 3:37pm - misc - by overly nationalistic redneck (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, the guy on the floor above me decided it was time for a tuba jam session. Apparently optimal tuba time is 2am. FML

#20881873
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37917) - you deserved it (2481)

On 09/15/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by sleeplessinrichmond - United States (New York)

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54518) - you deserved it (8925)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was asked to dumb myself down so the people I was training could comprehend what I was saying. FML

#20868484
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33935) - you deserved it (6071)

On 09/05/2013 at 2:57am - work - by Retarded (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my sister announced that she and her boyfriend are getting married. Her boyfriend is my husband. We're not even legally divorced yet. FML

#20857902
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60343) - you deserved it (3572)

On 08/28/2013 at 1:47pm - love - by still together (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I almost got run over on my bike by a truck who raced through a red light. After narrowly avoiding a collision, the car slowed down. Instead of apologizing for almost killing me, the driver stuck his head out of the window and yelled, "Nice ass!" FML

#20854169
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34492) - you deserved it (2953)

On 08/25/2013 at 8:10pm - misc - by etgohome (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wackjob roommate decided to sit next to me on the couch, basically make out with her pet rabbit, and baby-talk to it. Key highlights involved giggling while the bunny licked up inside her nose and then commenting on the rabbit's "pronounced nipples". Why? FML

#20848347
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37326) - you deserved it (3342)

On 08/21/2013 at 8:09pm - animals - by Jade (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I cut my own bangs. I pulled too much hair to the front and ended up giving myself a mullet. FML

#20733203
124 comments

Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML

#20698818
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74022) - you deserved it (4123)

On 06/01/2013 at 3:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while working at Walmart, I was walking the sales floor and passed the end of an aisle. I saw a customer coming at me from the corner of my eye, so I jumped backwards. I hit a display case, and watched it topple over before turning to apologize to the customer. It was a ladder. FML

#20690744
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32238) - you deserved it (8074)

On 05/28/2013 at 3:11am - work - by Olerbia - United States

Today, I realized my acne is so bad that the Facebook face recognition could recognize all of my friends in a group photo except me. FML

#20516014
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25846) - you deserved it (3344)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:04am - misc - by SadFace (man) - Singapore

Today, I watched Gigli. FML

#19259305
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7079) - you deserved it (23184)

On 03/11/2012 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I watched Gigli. FML

#19259305
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7079) - you deserved it (23184)

On 03/11/2012 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was wanking and starting thinking about why the Simpsons are yellow, and how that came to be. I haven't been laid in 4 years and my ADD is so crippling that I can't jack off. FML

#18567252
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26814) - you deserved it (5215)

On 12/21/2011 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out that the double spacing format in an essay refers to the space between each line, not the words. I've been pressing the space bar twice between each word all through high school and halfway through college. FML

#17821676
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11253) - you deserved it (72235)

On 09/24/2011 at 2:47pm - misc - by essay2 - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: