zashed

Search for a member

Offline (the 04/22/2015 at 1:53pm)

zashed

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6298
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

zashed's page activity

Visits<b>yulong730</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 4:25pm<b>din0m1te</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 5:34pm<b>mif</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 9:36am<b>Nordrag</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 6:11am

zashed's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of zashed's badges

zashed's favorite FMLs

Today, all of my friends and teachers asked me what was wrong because I looked sad and tired. One kid even said that I looked like "an abused housewife the day after." I was fine. It was the first time I went to school without wearing any makeup. FML

by bu09 / 03/07/2009 at 3:34pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the jewelry store to sell my wedding ring after a long and painful divorce. The shop owner took one look at it and called the cops because I tried to sell him a diamond ring that had been stolen from him 3 years ago. My ex-husband left the country a week ago. FML

by ringmaster101 / 03/04/2009 at 6:42pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I woke up at 5:30 AM to my boyfriend flipping on the lights and shouting, "We have a problem!" Our chinchilla had gotten out of his maximum security cage, and half of our apartment is now underwater because he decided the water line that leads to the fridge would make a tasty midnight snack. FML

by Sara / 03/04/2009 at 5:42pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, the men clearing the walkway outside my dorm room, with a snowblower didn't realize that my window was open. I looked over from my computer to see snow shooting in, covering my clock, closet, and radio. And now it's melting. FML

by gr8terevil / 03/02/2009 at 2:06pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and his family had invited me to go on a Tropical family trip with them. When we got to the airport, security stopped me and opened my carry-on bag. I'd forgotten about the no-liquids rule. They took out a bottle of Massage Oil, Lube, Vagasil and Nair. His whole family saw. FML

by Kammy / 03/01/2009 at 6:38pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to a tap on my shoulder and had no idea where I was. I quickly discovered It was 11 am and I was still at the bar I had been drinking at the night before. My shoes were gone. FML

by mylifeisamovie / 02/28/2009 at 1:39am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, we were fooling around and I was just about to orgasm when she looks at my clock and says "I have to go LOST is on in 20 minutes." FML

by notmyday / 02/25/2009 at 6:26pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the Doctors and the nurse asked if I was married, in which I responded "yes". Then she asked if I was sexually active... "no". FML

by starbird / 02/23/2009 at 2:40pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend masturbating so I said to her, "Need a hand with that?" to which she replied "I'm doing fine here on my own, don't ruin it." FML

by Anonn / 02/23/2009 at 8:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML

by svet / 02/21/2009 at 9:07pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was doing a strip tease for my husband. He asked me to stop. FML

by Noname / 02/20/2009 at 12:06am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with a girl I really like for the first time. After a while I told her I was about to come. Her response: "Lucky you." FML

by sadguy / 02/18/2009 at 5:07pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said "sorry I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML

by Mr. Hopeless / 02/13/2009 at 4:59pm / United States (Wyoming) / Intimacy

Today, a flight attendant asked me if I was airsick because I looked really pale. I told her that was my normal complexion but thanked her for her concern. She insisted "No, that can't be normal." FML

by Casper / 02/11/2009 at 12:16am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. When she asked me to pick up her thong from behind my bed I realized there were two. I didn't pick up hers. FML

by Dulieu / 02/09/2009 at 7:41pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Love