zashed

Search for a member

Offline (the 04/22/2015 at 1:53pm)

zashed

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5407
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

zashed's page activity

Visits<b>yulong730</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 4:25pm<b>din0m1te</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 5:34pm<b>mif</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 9:36am<b>Nordrag</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 6:11am

zashed's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of zashed's badges

zashed's favorite FMLs

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

by Lilypad / 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm / Intimacy

Today, I saw a woman breastfeeding at the natural foods market. It's the first time I've seen a woman's nipple in over two years. I've been married for ten. FML

by themouseman1212 / 03/10/2013 at 12:13pm / United States / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend told me I was selfish for "choosing" to start my period on his day off from work. FML

by Thankshun / 03/04/2013 at 6:03pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML

by jkbeynon / 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because he didn't trust himself not to cheat on me. What? FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 7:02am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 2:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 2:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML

by pornhastaughtmenothing / 02/21/2013 at 3:46am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML

by daniel55 / 02/17/2013 at 7:11pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, whilst on a phone interview with a college I really want to go to, my mother picks up the other line and shouts into the phone "She's not going to college, she's lazy and she'll only disappoint you." The interviewer hung up before I could say anything. FML

by parentalissues / 02/15/2013 at 10:50am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that without my birth control pills, I would have no idea what day it is. FML

by PurpleSloth / 02/15/2013 at 8:57am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was walking to my dorm room while it was snowing heavily. I saw a girl in a wheelchair trying to get up a slippery incline. Being a good person, I asked to help. I'm a pretty weak guy, and I couldn't push her up. She wheeled away crying because she thought she was fat. FML

by IMadeAHandicappedPersonCry / 02/12/2013 at 11:57pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned it's a bad idea to text and smoke while drunk, because there is an increased risk of throwing your phone off the balcony and sticking your cigarette into your pocket. FML

by anonymous / 01/30/2013 at 5:13am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

by Kitten_Love / 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm / Animals