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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my girlfriend's dad asked me if I wanted to drive his 2008 Jaguar XKR. Excitedly, I agreed. He then spent the next hour discussing with me how masturbation is a great alternative to sex, and a great way to remain abstinent. I didn't get to drive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46998) - you deserved it (2906)
On 05/24/2009 at 8:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was watching TV with a cup of coffee. My mum asked if I wanted a Mars bar. I said that would be great and she threw one at me, catching me off guard. The Mars bar went straight into my coffee, spilling it over my bare legs. I now have a scald mark on my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38335) - you deserved it (4983)
On 05/20/2009 at 3:53pm - misc - by Benji (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)
Today, I realized that my father's weekly unemployment check is more than my bi-weekly pay check. My full time job pays less than my father's unemployment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50231) - you deserved it (3462)
On 05/17/2009 at 1:42pm - money - by thatsucks (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that I could never marry him because he's a Yankees fan. He told me he could never marry me because he couldn't see himself having a terrible love life for the rest of his life. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33614) - you deserved it (8837)
On 05/15/2009 at 11:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I am wearing a panda suit for the promotion of the restaurant I work at. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46385) - you deserved it (11048)
On 05/14/2009 at 8:40am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75458) - you deserved it (15624)
On 04/27/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by hjgjh - United States (California)
Today, I was closing the deal on this beautiful $200k ranch in the country. The buyer soon pulls up and we get to discussing the contract terms, soon the buyer asks the seller," Wow why is this house going so cheap?" The seller replies,"Do you believe in ghosts?" There goes my $8,000 commission. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38925) - you deserved it (3712)
On 04/24/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by dontaskdonttell (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I sent my boyfriend of three and a half years a text message spilling my heart out, saying I'll love him forever, and how much I appreciate him in my life, that I want to be the mother of his children, etc. His text back to me? "Are you drunk?!?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21824) - you deserved it (48747)
On 04/23/2009 at 9:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
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