zanexp

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zanexp

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 24 December 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 443
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About zanexp : Navy kid trying to survive being an adult

zanexp's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 4:25pm<b>pprincesss_</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 6:57pm<b>wilks311</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 11:58pm<b>turtles_love</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 12:41am<b>hannah0987</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 3:34pm<b>Kar0</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 2:01pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 7:09pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 4:45pm<b>Elliotkitty</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 12:41am<b>hatrickpatrick13</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 7:02pm<b>fuckit_oo</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 6:11pm<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 5:07pm<b>Gentelman999</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 3:12pm<b>cutycat136</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 2:38pm<b>zeropointnine</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 10:58pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 4:37am<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 8:35pm<b>blue_eyes72</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 7:08pm

zanexp's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of zanexp's badges

zanexp's favorite FMLs

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

by OakStake / 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

by fuckadaisical / 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my brother why it's not OK to stick his knob in the toaster. FML

by latter / 09/23/2013 at 8:05pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via Snapchat. FML

by mish / 09/22/2013 at 4:41pm / United Kingdom (Herefordshire) / Love

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2013 at 1:40am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2013 at 12:38pm / Switzerland (Bern) / Work

Today, I found out that my grandma is a well-loved member of a notorious biker gang. Meanwhile, I'm a 32-year-old, single, minimum-wage nobody with no friends to speak of. She's probably getting more action than I ever will. FML

by no life to fuck :/ / 08/30/2013 at 7:37pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife appropriated our savings to finance her crazy, midlife crisis idea of designing and marketing Cheez Whiz dildos. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2013 at 5:05pm / United States (New York) / Money

Today, I realized just how clingy my boyfriend is, when he pulled out in the middle of sex, lay down and hugged me, and said in his "adorable" voice that he didn't really want to have sex, but cuddle. I wouldn't mind if it didn't happen so often. FML

by orgasmsareoverratedanyway / 09/25/2012 at 1:42pm / Norway (Nordland) / Intimacy

Today, I used a man's shirt as a pillowcase and sprayed it with cologne so I wouldn't feel alone in the night. FML

by MaeMoss / 07/18/2012 at 10:21am / United States / Love

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

by scaredshitless / 03/03/2012 at 8:55am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Miscellaneous

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I found out he was seeing someone behind my back: my ex-boyfriend. FML

by Anon / 10/03/2009 at 7:43am / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Love

Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2009 at 1:37am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy