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zaleh

Offline (the 06/02/2015 at 1:45pm) | Search for a member

zaleh

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 10 June 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3181
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About zaleh : not yet

zaleh's page activity

Visits<b>w0nd3rl4nd</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 6:01am<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 12:10am<b>curticus</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 9:00am<b>romi2212</b> - the 03/31/2012 at 5:34pm<b>weatherxveins</b> - the 12/12/2011 at 2:36am<b>ThatOneChick14</b> - the 07/30/2011 at 4:54pm

Fucked!<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 6:10am

zaleh's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of zaleh's badges

zaleh's favorite FMLs

Today, I checked my son's browser history, as he's been acting strangely around his computer recently. I found several bizarre Google searches, including but not limited to: "unicorn dick-farts", "sharting kittens", and "can you get AIDS from Asians?" What the fuck is wrong with him? FML

#21414033
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27710) - you deserved it (4552)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I had the most rancid fart. My dog woke up from his nap and bit me as punishment. FML

#21412078
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25082) - you deserved it (7096)

On 05/18/2015 at 4:40pm - misc - by Swabidizop - United States (Colorado)

Today, one of my idiot co-workers thought it'd be hilarious to "fix" my car while I was working. Now every time I step on the brake pedal, the horn goes off. FML

#21412007
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28411) - you deserved it (2310)

On 05/18/2015 at 2:41pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my dad drove me to the airport. As I got out of the car, he said, "You better pop that zit on your face, security might think it's a bomb". FML

#21406694
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30590) - you deserved it (2792)

On 05/08/2015 at 9:44am - misc - by brittrus - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to say to my 23-year-old son that it's not a compliment to tell a woman that he wants to jam his cock down her throat. FML

#21405973
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32214) - you deserved it (4342)

On 05/06/2015 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by dadoftheyear (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend complained that I only respond to his flirtations with exasperation and annoyance. Apparently, grunting and humping my leg like an ill-mannered dog while I'm trying to wash dishes is his way of flirting. FML

#21405919
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29832) - you deserved it (3172)

On 05/06/2015 at 10:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I heard a loud beep for over an hour. It didn't come from my phone or even an alarm of some sort. It was my son pretending to be a smoke alarm. FML

Today, I read my 10-year-old sister's diary. That's how I found out about her disturbingly detailed plan to murder me, make it look like suicide, date my boyfriend after helping him get over my death, then marry him. FML

#21395572
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38838) - you deserved it (5031)

On 04/18/2015 at 3:01am - kids - by Anonymus (woman) - Sweden

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

Today, I caught my teenage daughter doing her laundry for the first time ever. She had piles of black and white, but then she threw them together in the washing machine. I told her blacks and whites were supposed to be separate, but she just said, "End the segregation, mom." FML

#21392458
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30101) - you deserved it (5464)

On 04/12/2015 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out my girlfriend keeps my toenails in her deceased grandmother's prized music box. She says it's to, "Keep the box natural." I don't understand why she does this, or what she means by "natural." FML

#21383678
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24253) - you deserved it (2054)

On 03/29/2015 at 5:18pm - misc - by coldasfire - United States

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML

#21382327
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28551) - you deserved it (3033)

On 03/27/2015 at 9:29am - kids - by njh - Ireland

Today, I managed to take an entire shower without realizing my socks were on. I washed my feet. FML

#21382179
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22426) - you deserved it (8754)

On 03/26/2015 at 11:28pm - misc - by comfort_ - United States (Georgia)

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

#21379710
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32915) - you deserved it (6579)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States



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