About zakkyzebra : Refer to my pic
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Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22494) - you deserved it (12957)
On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)
I agree, your life sucks (6132) - you deserved it (16628)
On 03/11/2012 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I became a father. Unfortunately, my wife found out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6782) - you deserved it (99530)
On 03/10/2012 at 9:16pm - misc - by Major3 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I discovered that during fire drills, my school lines everyone up next to some extremely flammable and explosive propane tanks. If we ever have a real fire, we will all die. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22622) - you deserved it (1617)
On 02/25/2012 at 11:18pm - misc - by afraidtoburn (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I sent my grandma a naked picture instead of my girlfriend. While attempting to delete it, I sent it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14347) - you deserved it (36472)
On 11/04/2011 at 12:38am - intimacy - by me (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20678) - you deserved it (1812)
On 08/12/2011 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21240) - you deserved it (11869)
On 07/31/2011 at 12:20am - misc - by James (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I came home to find that all my porn magazines have been "censored" with a black sharpie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19673) - you deserved it (39434)
On 04/21/2011 at 2:30pm - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12972) - you deserved it (44277)
On 03/01/2011 at 12:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38127) - you deserved it (11245)
On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I found out that my "I don't believe in pre-marital sex" boyfriend is the father of my younger sister's newborn baby. After four years of being in a serious, but sexless, relationship, I am now single, horny, and an aunt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44484) - you deserved it (4278)
On 10/04/2010 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24813) - you deserved it (21134)
On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticed. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curvier than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12625) - you deserved it (25847)
On 10/07/2009 at 12:39am - love - by NotAParabola (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I learned to check inside the oven before you preheat it. Sometimes children hide their pet rabbit in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58476) - you deserved it (8020)
On 09/28/2009 at 3:15am - misc - by ripfluffy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44818) - you deserved it (2387)
On 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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