This member hasn't filled in their description.
zack30497's FML badges
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
zack30497's favorite FMLs
by sunil / 06/13/2014 at 6:53pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
by Anonymous / 06/13/2014 at 5:27am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML
by ldrik1 / 06/11/2014 at 4:36pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to go to the police station after my son got arrested for shoplifting 15 packs of gum. He got away with it at first, but got busted when he tried to return it all because he "didn't like the flavor". FML
by idiotson / 06/10/2014 at 8:39pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML
by 404: sense not found / 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Screwed / 06/07/2014 at 9:31am / Australia / Intimacy
Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML
by help me / 06/01/2014 at 11:51am / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
by damn it rose / 05/31/2014 at 9:40am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Love
Today, my 15-year-old son got so enraged at a fly that kept harassing him, that he ended up slapping himself in the face as it flew by him. This caused him to fall out of his chair, at which point he broke down into a mess of tears, humiliating me in front of everyone. FML
by get a grip, son / 05/30/2014 at 4:37pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/30/2014 at 1:28pm / United Kingdom / Animals
Today, a girl asked me out on a date to some hot springs, about 2 hours away. After a mile hike, the springs were finally in sight. She then slipped and cut her shin open. I had carry her the mile back and drive her the 2 hours to the ER, where her parents, whom I'd never met, were waiting. FML
by jonchavez / 05/29/2014 at 7:46pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love
by chevygirl51 / 05/28/2014 at 5:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a buffet with my kids and husband. As my boys got up to get more food, I told them they'd better come back with something green on their plate. They both came back with mint ice cream and got a high-five from my husband. FML
by outsmartedbykids / 05/28/2014 at 12:28pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
Today, I was chewed out by a lady who claimed the laptop she bought wouldn't turn on, and that she wanted a refund. She yelled and shoved the laptop at me, not even listening when I told her I didn't even work at that store. FML
by lemongrab / 05/18/2014 at 10:14am / Canada / Miscellaneous
by cakefete2 / 05/11/2014 at 2:27am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today my mom, bored lover of games and mysteries, bragged about outsmarting scammers by burning all…
- Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for… Today, I started undressing in front of my boyfriend. He politely said, "Excuse me, please" because… Today, I was added to a random group chat. They were planning to film a porno and each member sent…