About zachsipes : I love Sports and A freshman at Central High School.
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Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27051) - you deserved it (3680)
On 02/22/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29703) - you deserved it (4053)
On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I had to tell my 7 year old son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24778) - you deserved it (3509)
On 02/20/2012 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Gothicbunnyx3 - United States
Today, I couldn’t have a conversation with my fiancé unless it was about Dragon Ball Z. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16182) - you deserved it (5030)
On 02/20/2012 at 10:53am - love - by DBZ (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my boyfriend sang "happy birthday" to my vagina. It was my birthday last month and he forgot, but he remembered the date of the first time he went down on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23149) - you deserved it (2989)
On 02/19/2012 at 6:37am - intimacy - by me - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was talking to my husband about a work colleague, whose boyfriend is always sending her flowers and fawning over her. I mentioned how I've never been treated like that. He glanced up from his video game and said, "Shit, Mel. Get a boob job then." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24168) - you deserved it (5728)
On 02/17/2012 at 9:04pm - love - by Mel Ancholy (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28567) - you deserved it (1918)
On 02/14/2012 at 9:29am - love - by Illinoisgirl - Hungary (Budapest)
Today, at around 2am, I was walking through a parking lot to my car when a man walking behind me told me not to be scared. I turned around to tell him there was no problem. He was naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26023) - you deserved it (1994) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23830) - you deserved it (1794)
On 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31103) - you deserved it (4550)
On 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by MakesMeLol (man) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I tried exercising. My whole house shook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19415) - you deserved it (9488)
On 01/02/2012 at 10:47pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8557) - you deserved it (66069)
On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States
Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9350) - you deserved it (42207)
Today, I had to sit on the bus next to a creepy guy. He began pestering me with overly-sexual statements, and finally I told him I had a boyfriend. He responded with "Tell me his name so I can track him down, kill him, and hopefully take his place." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36671) - you deserved it (2609)
On 10/17/2011 at 1:44am - intimacy - by pokeballbra - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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