Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

zachsipes

Offline (the 12/10/2014 at 4:18am) | Search for a member

zachsipes

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 2 June 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1284
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About zachsipes : Follow me on Twitter!! @sipeszach

zachsipes's page activity

Visits<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 10:40pm<b>Smartdumbblonde</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 7:50pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 3:28am<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 8:30am<b>YUNOLIKE</b> - the 03/06/2013 at 12:39am<b>coolsunshinebear</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 7:37pm<b>HaneenDixon</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 12:23am<b>noxiffic</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 10:14am<b>Katiekhalifa</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 10:01pm

zachsipes's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of zachsipes's badges

zachsipes's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend set me up on a blind date, to get my mind off having been recently broken up with. The guy was perfect: tall, muscular, handsome. But while we were watching a movie, I saw him dig around in his nose, then wipe his finger on my pants. FML

#20474869
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34575) - you deserved it (3963)

On 01/23/2013 at 1:44pm - love - by Stickysituation - United States (New York)

Today, I saw a woman breast feeding her child at the local park. That would have been just fine if the child wasn't at least 8 years old. FML

#20474414
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34052) - you deserved it (3499)

On 01/23/2013 at 3:33am - misc - by TheLastSerenade (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML

#20473479
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38047) - you deserved it (2402)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm - kids - by Female (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband asked me to show him my boob. I began to pull the side of my shirt down when he said, "No, not that one, the big one." FML

#20472081
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42002) - you deserved it (4284)

On 01/21/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by sarah6786 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

#20466086
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35498) - you deserved it (3705)

On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

#20465889
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60276) - you deserved it (6940)

On 01/18/2013 at 5:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

#20462136
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36620) - you deserved it (3837)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by WTF (man) -

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

#20452458
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32040) - you deserved it (2724)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm - kids - by Grant - United States

Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML

#20451321
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28286) - you deserved it (7429)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:28am - kids - by Facepalmum (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34303) - you deserved it (2767)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

#20447496
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35868) - you deserved it (5177)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:44am - misc - by no sleep for me -

Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML

#20447129
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41510) - you deserved it (2337)

On 01/07/2013 at 11:16pm - misc - by legitweirdo - United States (New York)

Today, I found a ring box in the pocket of my boyfriend's pants while doing laundry. I eagerly walked up to him knowing that it was an engagement ring, hoping that he would propose on the spot. He tossed it back to me and said, "Well you found it, I don't actually have to ask now, right?" FML

#20446658
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17116) - you deserved it (46451)

On 01/07/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking. FML

#20446338
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28214) - you deserved it (4557)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML

#20443434
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29262) - you deserved it (5073)

On 01/05/2013 at 4:21am - intimacy - by kblevss (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: