About zachsipes : I love Sports and A freshman at Central High School.
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Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21795) - you deserved it (3612)
On 04/23/2012 at 12:04am - love - by gottalovefriends - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28733) - you deserved it (2411)
On 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by lindsaykay - United States
Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20215) - you deserved it (2558)
On 04/16/2012 at 8:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out why teenage boys have "Keep out" and "Please knock" signs on their bedroom doors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7489) - you deserved it (32808)
On 03/19/2012 at 1:49am - intimacy - by ari - United States
Today, since I'm too broke to get a new one, I had to duct tape my bra. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20541) - you deserved it (2070)
On 03/18/2012 at 8:51pm - money - by liver (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was walking to a café with my soon-to-be boss. While crossing a busy street, I slipped in a puddle and accidentally grabbed his junk to catch myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22803) - you deserved it (2564)
On 03/18/2012 at 11:04am - work - by cachucy - United States (Illinois)
Today, I walked into the kitchen to eat some breakfast. I got a full visual of my drunk neighbor dancing naked in my backyard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16468) - you deserved it (1206)
On 03/17/2012 at 10:41pm - misc - by vanorav (man) - United States (California)
Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21774) - you deserved it (3941)
On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18608) - you deserved it (7435)
On 03/17/2012 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by unendowed - United States (Texas)
Today, while coming out of Walmart, I dropped a $50 bill. Some kid came running up after me yelling, "Hey mister, you dropped this!" as he ran past me laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22797) - you deserved it (3566)
On 03/17/2012 at 9:04am - money - by dhbeaver - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got threatened with a gun through the drive thru speaker because I didn't offer some guy any pies to go with his meal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18328) - you deserved it (1969)
On 03/17/2012 at 12:37am - work - by CDeVeney92 - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15172) - you deserved it (8051)
On 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland
Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16291) - you deserved it (4125) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25628) - you deserved it (4303)
On 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by PUA - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was watching a kid at school walk like a gangster. My teacher was standing there, so I stood behind the kid and walked like him, laughing to myself, at which point my teacher took me to one side and told me the kid was handicapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6914) - you deserved it (38339)
On 03/14/2012 at 4:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Monday 17 June 2013
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