Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

zachsipes

Offline (the 03/30/2015 at 5:30pm) | Search for a member

zachsipes

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 2 June 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1784
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About zachsipes : Follow me on Twitter!! @sipeszach

zachsipes's page activity

Visits<b>gis0392</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 12:16am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 11:17pm<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 8:24pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 1:53am<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 2:27pm<b>Smartdumbblonde</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 7:50pm<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 8:30am<b>YUNOLIKE</b> - the 03/06/2013 at 12:39am<b>coolsunshinebear</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 7:37pm<b>HaneenDixon</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 12:23am<b>noxiffic</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 10:14am<b>Katiekhalifa</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 10:01pm

zachsipes's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of zachsipes's badges

zachsipes's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my daughter shaving the testicles of her boyfriend, who had apparently snuck in through her window. FML

#20888905
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53384) - you deserved it (5400)

On 09/20/2013 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by disappointed (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a blind date. He showed up in a shirt that read, "I f*ck on first dates". FML

#20888198
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50673) - you deserved it (5749)

On 09/19/2013 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by ughreally (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML

#20874714
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42437) - you deserved it (11468)

On 09/09/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by heyhijello - United States (California)

Today, my mum picked up a bunch of tissues that were scattered around my room. She examined them, then asked me to stop wasting her potential grandchildren. FML

#20825949
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49666) - you deserved it (40576)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, I walked in on my husband putting my anti-wrinkle cream on his balls. He said, "I thought it'd help." FML

#20822001
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48853) - you deserved it (4927)

On 08/05/2013 at 12:41pm - intimacy - by Serum - United States (Kansas)

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

#20767385
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55253) - you deserved it (7770)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by hamburger - United States (Michigan)

Today, whilst driving past a cyclist, I thought it would be funny to make him jump by blasting my horn right behind him and then driving off. I guess he thought it would be funny to catch up with me, yank off my wing-mirror, and hurl it through the open window at my face. FML

Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

#20637584
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72000) - you deserved it (8071)

On 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by future brain bleach addict (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my ex-boyfriend, with whom I'm still madly in love, called me and begged me to come back to him. In shock, I asked, "Is this some kind of joke?" He giggled, said yes, and then promptly hung up. FML

#20595377
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59458) - you deserved it (6692)

On 04/15/2013 at 10:20pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while on the way to Florida for spring break, I pointed out to my mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mirror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. FML

#20565452
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42203) - you deserved it (4918)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82651) - you deserved it (8558)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

#20562056
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42220) - you deserved it (5456)

On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a serious argument and he stormed out of the house mad. Why? I wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of his knob. FML

#20553362
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40486) - you deserved it (16949)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:01am - intimacy - by meeee (woman) - United States

Today, for the sixth time in a row, I was driving my kid to school and he made me late for work. Why? He was whacking off instead of getting ready. FML

#20551973
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44809) - you deserved it (6220)

On 03/20/2013 at 7:07am - intimacy - by Why son, why? (man) - United States

Today, I was cleaning a house. While dusting a rickety nightstand, a drawer fell open and a light-up dildo fell out and turned on. I couldn't figure out how to turn it off. FML

#20541893
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40077) - you deserved it (4444)

On 03/13/2013 at 9:36am - intimacy - by OptimusVader (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: