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zachsipes's favorite FMLs
by pancakelicious / 10/04/2013 at 7:16am / New Zealand / Intimacy
by f.a.t. / 10/04/2013 at 4:20am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, my bully made me cry once again. It's been going on for weeks. I don't know who to turn to; I can't say anything because I'd get into even more trouble. He even stole my Nintendo 3DS and won't give it back. My bully is my girlfriend's son. He's 10. FML
by PickedOnByDamien / 10/02/2013 at 4:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/01/2013 at 4:25pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love
Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML
by Anonymous / 09/30/2013 at 7:54pm / United Kingdom (West Lothian) / Kids
Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML
by Anonymous / 09/30/2013 at 6:30am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML
by scared shitless in ohio / 09/25/2013 at 4:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by latter / 09/23/2013 at 8:05pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids
Today, one of my regular customers asked when we were getting married. I told him as much as I would love that, I didn't think my boyfriend would be very happy. He called me a "stuck up b*tch" and informed me he only comes to my line because he can always see through my shirt. He is 72. And married. FML
by peejay6831 / 09/23/2013 at 2:27am / United States / Work
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
by numbnuts / 09/23/2013 at 1:48am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
by mish / 09/22/2013 at 4:41pm / United Kingdom (Herefordshire) / Love
by msmidnight1965 / 09/22/2013 at 1:22pm / Canada / Kids
by me / 09/22/2013 at 9:34am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by collegebroke / 09/22/2013 at 1:45am / United States (California) / Money
by Anonymous / 09/22/2013 at 1:40am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…