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zachsipes's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/23/2013 at 12:04pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML
by IamAflyingCat / 10/22/2013 at 5:12am / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 10/22/2013 at 12:44am / Chile (Region Metropolitana) / Health
Today, it hit me that I'm incredibly pathetic, when at the age of 21, I tucked my stuffed animals into bed with me, facing in different directions so they could keep watch for monsters while I slept. FML
by SaveMeTeddy / 10/16/2013 at 2:48pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by highlydisgusted / 10/15/2013 at 11:10pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by hes / 10/15/2013 at 6:10am / United States / Intimacy
by mustabeendrugs / 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
by DisgustinglyFrustrated / 10/10/2013 at 11:40am / Argentina (Santa Fe) / Intimacy
by failure / 10/10/2013 at 10:11am / Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi) / Animals
by WhyMe6495 / 10/06/2013 at 6:28pm / United States (New York) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/05/2013 at 6:25pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids
Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML
by -____- / 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I was reminded that while I have a nice waist, bum and boobs, I'm unspeakably ugly. I was walking down the street when a guy wolf-whistled from behind me, and when I turned around, he visibly recoiled in disgust. FML
by british_babe / 10/05/2013 at 1:51pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/05/2013 at 2:56am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…